Some of my fondest memories are of my cousins in that image at the top of this post!
Let me introduce you to Big brother and Little sister, Tayo and Dela Idowu!
Tayo, I'd describe as my geeky nerdy 'aje butter' (you know the drift guys, for definition, phone a friend or ask audience!) big cousin. He's my fav cousin's, Dela's, big brother. So back in the day, he came as part of the package, you saw Dela, so you saw Tayo! He used to (and still does) fascinate me with his spoken English. To me he sounds 'well' posh, I love listening to his voice.
A memory comes to mind of me spending a weekend with an aunt of ours who just had a baby, this little baby is now a proud mother of 2 children herself, How time flies! Tayo came to visit one evening and asked if I was hungry. He's about 10 years older than me, but back then 'cause I was young, the age gap between us seemed to be so much wider. He lowers his voice as he asks me, you know, like how those 'aje butter' people do when they talk to young children!?
He changes his tone into a little 'cutesy woochie' voice:
"Ola, can your little belly manage some Kentucky Fried Chicken" I reply sweetly 'Yes Tayo' (we don't do all that sister, brother, auntie or egbon thingy on this side of the family!). He comes back from KFC with a kiddie meal for 'my little belly'!! I felt like crying inside, he didn't realise that even though I was a child, I had a very hearty appetite and wide belly having been stretched by Liverpool Street Market's boiler chicken, ground rice and things. The memory of that unsatisfying Kentucky Fried Chicken Kiddie Meal haunts me till tomorrow, I could have eaten the whole 'bleeping' bucket Tayo!!
Roll on how many decades later? Tayo gets to play the role of my dad for the day! As my dad asks him to stand in as Father Of The Bride at my wedding, so he gives me away in marriage! < Insert Wedding Pic (NOT)>. This is a blog not photo album!!
I remember Tayo reading my dad's speech at the reception and me bursting into tears, it was an emotional day and he 'kept it real' as my substitute dad for the day!
As for Dela, where do I start? Maximum respect to the Big Sis I never had. She just got it, Dela was (still very much is!) my 'buffer'. She took me away from the 'go and read your book' culture of those days. Her parents moved back to Nigeria way before ours did, but she'd always came over for 'summer' as was the norm. Those holidays were filled with fun, movies, trips to seaside, funfairs and even a trip to The London Dungeons (How could you Dela, I was so scared there!??). She just had so much time for me.
We move back to Naija and Dela was still very much around for me, my cool cousin in the "higher institution" I really looked up to her and prayed for the day I too could live on a campus like her and do 'my own thing'. My cousins were some of the few teenagers I knew that could speak to my parents "as if they was their mate and friend" there was none of that 'yes Sir', 'no Ma' superficial fake chat, I-have-to-grovel-for-my-elders" shannanigans, yet they was respectful and my parents loved their company.
Roll on another few years and we've all moved back here and Dela's telling me she can't attend my wedding as she had pre-booked her summer hols with her family (I only understand this concept of 'holiday' now after living here for years, back then I was so indignant, never told her though!), "why can't she attend my wedding, "which kind yeye holiday" is that??" I wondered. Anyway all was forgiven when she promised to make my wedding cake as a bribe, which she did and it was the loveliest 3-tier fruit cake ever, if I may say so myself!!! < Insert photo of wedding cake (NOT)> Don't ask why, I've told you before!
Yes Oooo, a simple 3-tier wedding cake, nothing like those 20-tier wedding cakes we see nowadays with their own postcode, staircase, ladder, escalator or elevator crossing from one cake to the other!
We now fast forward to another year when I'm with both you guys, helping out at your respective food stalls at Notting Hill Carnival, I was 'fresh off the boat' back then and it was quite an experience for me. All these 'Jamo' people having fun, I was rather ignorant and classified all people from the Caribbean Islands as "Jamo". Dela you opened my eyes and explained it was not nice to stereotype people like that!
The memories keep flooding in and I recall one summer hol from Naija and being somewhat cash strapped, so Tayo says he'll pay me to help him out with his self employed business. This was yonks ago but I can remember that the work was not too hard but it was clerical related, boring and repetitive. I also think the first computer I ever saw was at his place. He was way into the digital age before many of us knew that a mouse was not only a pet! I was rather lazy and suspect that I wasn't really that much use to him, but I so needed that little brown envelope he gave me each Friday so I could buy "Jandon Sputies" (London clothes) to wear and show off back in Naija, after all I had 'travelled' for "summer" and expectations were high! Tayo just humoured and tolerated me!
Those were the days and things couldn't really have gotten any better.
Then one day in December 2010 Tayo told Dela he had been diagnosed with end-stage Kidney failure and needed a transplant. This was a life changing event!
It's strange when we are far removed from a situation how indifferent we can be, it's a different ball game though when it comes knocking on one's on own front door.
I remember a Nollywood film we watched many years ago with a plot revolving round the issue of kidney donation. In one scene we have an old village woman screaming and rolling on the floor when she heard a young relation of hers had been diagnosed with kidney failure and required a donor kidney preferably from a relation as that would be a more likely match. As soon as she heard that they were thinking of her as a possible donor, her tears dried 'quick-quick' and her countenance changed, she now claims, slyly, that she would have loved to help the person but "to God who made her" (please, why do people swear to God yet still lie?????) she had not been born with kidney's so she had none to donate!! The whole dialogue was in Yoruba and sounded so funny at the time, as you can imagine all the drama that accompanied her utterances, clicking of the fingers, clapping of the hands and the facial expressions!
Now we have Tayo needing a kidney transplant and it's another ball game entirely. It's no longer a Nollywood 'comical' drama.
I'm not going to pretend to have been involved in the logistics of Tayo's journey, but he has a wife, sister, children, nephews, nieces and a mother who loves him dearly.
He was placed on the waiting list for a donor and the long wait began.
Dela is really brave and immediately offers to be his living kidney donor and give Tayo one of her kidneys but sadly after several tests she was found not to be compatible.
Her daughters and a host of other family members also came forward and offered to donate a kidney to Tayo but sadly without much success.
To keep himself alive whilst waiting for a donor, he commenced home dialysis. He said this was hard going as he was hooked up to the machine every evening for 8 hours a day for over 4 years because home dialysis is not as strong as haemodialysis which is done at the hospital 3 or 4 times a week for 4 hours.
I cannot even begin to imagine how the family felt and how dialysis affected the quality of his life.
Dela has to be brave for her brother and immediately starts her own research on possibility and chances of finding a donor for Tayo and that's when she discovers that there is a SUPER MEGA LACK OF BLACK DONORS!
I'm not cutting this story short but I do feel the nitty gritty is personal to Tayo and his immediate family.
I can tell you though, that:
Dela inspired by her brother’s strength wanted to use her experience as a potential living donor and Tayo’s long wait for a kidney donor to raise awareness of the need for more donors from the black community. She wrote and published a book "More Than Match ~ A family's thoughtful and uplifting experience of living kidney donation" where she shares Tayo's journey. Dela set up Gift of Living Donation in 2011 (GOLD) in a bid to offer hope to those living with advanced kidney failure and their families. Dela says “I know the benefits and joy living kidney donation can bring, however people from the black community are often reluctant to come forward as donors. She explains that more transplants can be performed for black kidney patients if there were more donors from the black community as there is a better tissue match for people from the same ethnic background.
She also takes it up a notch and releases a film on DVD "We are a Family" a film inspired by lives of people living on dialysis and waiting for transplant.
I'm will not be a kill-joy and deprive you guys of the happy ending of this Triumph Over Tragedy, True life story.
One day in October 2014 I received a call from Dela she tells me, Tayo's had a kidney transplant!! That call has transformed his life following years of dialysis.
In 2014 Dela won the Pride of Brent award for all her community work and recently teamed up with Brent Council and Capital City Academy where students are putting their artistic talents to use to raise awareness of organ donation in the borough through art.
She says “This is great way to creatively get people’s attention and encourage them to join the organ donor register, particularly in the black and Asian communities.
Since Tayo's transplant his life has changed completely, he can plan for the future and go on holiday with family and doing the things he once enjoyed.”
Personally, I'm just glad that Tayo has got his groove back!!
Guys, you know what? One part of me feels my job is done as I've given you the happy ending however the saying goes "There is no real ending, it's just the place you stop the story!"
But I need to continue as I just can't help wondering and I'm puzzled: What's it with us and our fear of being an organ donor and signing up to the organ donor register?
And I'm talking of both living donation and the 'other type' which is a no-no topic and none of our people like to talk about it? You know the type, when we are dead buried and gone or even helping a loved one who needs a kidney for a life saving transplant? surely it must be a good thing if it saves and changes the quality of a person's life!
Let's debate this!
- Knowing a bit more about organ donation has it encouraged you to sign up?
- If no what are your reasons?
- If yes why?
- Do we have readers who are already on the donor register
- If so what inspired you.
- Would you be a living donor for a loved one with kidney disease?
- If yes why?
- If no what are your reasons?
Maybe you guys could 'enlighten' us?
I'm sure Dela and Tayo are all ears!
Dela has given me a few copies of her book "More Than A Match" to give a few commentators on this post, obviously it can't be an anonymous comment, neither can it be one of those "yaaay I'm 1st to comment" with no substance!
When we choose the readers, could you send me your postal address to the risibyname email address, which you'll find in one of my posts a few weeks back if you cared to read!
For those of you based "l'abroad", we will find a way of getting across to you.
Dela, any chance of a copy or two of your DVD " We are a family" as well?
Tayo and Dela, thanks for giving me the honour of telling YOUR story, it's been emotional Xxx
On that note guys, let's thank God it's Friday and also thank him for all our body organs that we take for granted and enjoy the rest of the weekend. There will be a short break in transmission next Friday as I will not be blogging, business as usual though from Friday 29th May.
Ps. Tayo and Dela make a brief cameo appearance in the film "We are a family" It's a must watch!
Note to Tayo: Dela told me (you know, girl talk!), and I quote you "I don't think Ola would call me 'nerdy' if she knew some of the places I went to". Tayo I'm well aware of 'those' places, back in the day I often overheard my parents talking about how 'this Tayo boy can enjoy life!!!!'
It is health that is wealth and not pieces of gold and silver ~ Mahatma Gandhi
Hi Ola, wow! This is very emotional. Cried all the way through. I thank God for Tayo's amazing and life changing story. Who better to ask us to think deeper than just about ourselves than someone who has walked the walk. To be honest, I am not a donor and every time I have to renew my driver license I am asked that question and I say no. It seems too unreal and far from me. In reality, it is not. A lot to think of. ...
ReplyDeleteI am still reeling from the blog 2weeks ago, now you've come in for the kill!
ReplyDeleteCan I first salute Tayo and Dela,what a journey they have come through. I don't know them but their story is touching and challenging.
Challenging people like me who procrastinate over everything.
I have signed a donor(after death) card and I actually went to give blood (couldn't down to the centre)
Live donation,I have never thought of but is some thing I will give thought to now.
On a lighter note, "Big Up"to all my family and friends who made childhood so much fun!
I am truly inspired!! Your best piece to date! I was so old school about organ donation! That will be changed ASAP!! Gosh Dela and Tayo, I am your number one fan. I am not a sentimental person in any shape or form but reading this just turned me into a mess. I just couldn't stop the flow. Time for change, our mindsets must change!
ReplyDeleteMan that was deep and Inspirational. Makes you ponder. Some people have said they will not donate organs because when they get to heaven God will not recognise them with their organs missing (true talk)
ReplyDeleteI luv nandos
The saying that "Charity begins at home" cannot be more apt reading through this article. I commend and admire the love, care and dedication exhibited by Dela towards her brother. Such demonstration of love is rare, and it takes a special person to be that giving. Not all of us are that way inclined.
ReplyDeleteThe questions raised by RBN are directed to the black community. I'm not sure if she is limiting the discussion to the black community living in the UK, or blacks of African origin in general. I choose to
address the questions as relating to blacks of African origin with particular reference to Nigerians.
Naturally, we blacks are mostly mercenary. We are a selfish bunch, and will only consider doing anything (even for humanity) if there is something in it for us. It seems we are averse to organ donation, but not averse to organ selling because I am aware that
some Nigerians travel to places like
India to "sell" their body parts. Blame it on economic hardship, but that is entirely another story for
another day.
It amuses me when a lot of our christian brothers/sisters encounter perceived or real danger, their first reaction is to shout "blood of Jesus" oblivious of the fact that someone actually sacrificed his life for that blood we are all claiming and wish to benefit from. Ask them to donate their overgrown hair or nails for research for the development/preservation of
humanity, and their reaction will be like, "Abegi, God forbid. Do you know what it will be used for?"
I will refrain from doing an article within an article. So to answer those questions, my comments are;
LIVING DONOR: To be quite honest, this is a very tough call. Will I do it for someone very very dear to me, maybe I will. I will not define very very dear.
Will I do it for humanity in general, I will not.
Our creator is the greatest designer. He is all knowing. For him to have created us and created some organs in pairs, to my mind means that there is a purpose to it. If one fails, the other can serve as spare. So that extent, for me to sacrifice any spare must be under very very compelling circumstances.
DONOR UPON DEATH: So long as the organ is going to be useful to another human being that needs it, I will gladly donate. Reading the article and discussing it has ignited that thought in me. It is something I
have previously never considered.
RBN, that is a nicely written article. I'm impressed with your versatility. Yet to decipher your style, this shows you can do "serious" in addition to your earlier posts which are more of entertainment and contemporary. I like your style.
ReplyDeleteSis Risi, Thank you for sharing this personal story. I have been touched and encouraged by the devotional shown by Dela towards her brother. Both of them did not give up hope and they have demonstrated what is it to have unquestionable faith.
ReplyDeleteI have a donor card for after death and I have not really thought of going forward to get tested for various things like bone marrow. You know in our different black societies we believe that certain health issues should not be discussed or disclosed. We are not helping ourselves. The time has come for us to embrace all things and join the other race that is open and are willing to help one another.
A few months ago I lost a nephew and in his written wishes he left instructions to have his body cremated and his ashes scattered in Cape Town where the Indian and Atlantic oceans meet. A few years ago, this was unheard of.
Waaaaooooh. This is deep, profound and touching. I am not sure how I got through reading this piece, somehow I did.
ReplyDeleteMay I commend Tayo and Dela on their tough, brave , challenging and life changing journey. I am glad that both of you came through. Your story brought tears to my eyes. I am so proud of both of you. That is what you call unconditional love. Even though Dela was not a suitable match for Tayo, you were with him all the way and you are still raising awareness for the need for more donors from the black community and the community at large.
I am inspired by your determination for something good to come out of this horrible and life threatening /challenging situation. Thank God this has already happened as Tayo is now doing well but you continue to put yourself out there for others who will benefit from your hardwork and selflessness. I can't find the words to qualify what you set out to achieve for your brother and for us, we never know when we will need a kidney or other organs.
I am a selfish person. I won't think twice to give an organ to my siblings. They are my world. I cannot bring myself to think about donating to a non family member.
I will take steps now to ensure that I sign up to the organ donor register and my organ can be used when I no longer need them.
This piece has definitely encouraged me to sign up. I may not be a match for my siblings even if I am willing to donate an organ, meaning that I will then have to rely on another stranger to give my siblings a gift of life, when i cannot even consider or fathom the idea or thought. I am not registered but I am inspired to do so immediately. I am happy to be a living donor for my siblings ONLY.
Arun ti o gbo phensic tabi cafenol ki olorun ma Jeki a ri o. Amin. (We hope and pray that we are not inflicted with any illness that cannot be cured with phensic or cafenol). Phensic and cafenol are analgesic that were commonly used in Nigeria years ago. Not sure if they are still in use or not.
Well done RBN. This is a master piece. I continue to wish Tayo and Dela good health and happiness. Amin.
This article is very emotional and I am glad that Tayo has got his groove back. I am really touched by Dela’s show of love for her brother. I wish Tayo continued sound health. I also wish Tayo and Dela joy and happiness.
ReplyDeleteI think Africans generally need re-orientation to disabuse our minds on some of our traditional/archaic beliefs that our minds have been conditioned to. This brings me to a discussion l had with a friend on the issue of failed birth control devices. I suggested that if a person didn’t want to have babies again she could opt for hysterectomy (removal of uterus). My friend’s response was God forbid. She would not do such a thing because she wouldn’t want to reincarnate in another life without a womb. For this person and others like her, it will be very difficult to convince them to donate organ.
I agree with Ajetheboy that blacks are mostly mercenary, who will not do anything for humanity if there is no economic gain in it. We are averse to organ donation but go to places like Asia to sell body parts. Poverty has made us to be hard hearted, cruel and unfeeling. It is really a pity. I think the time is ripe for us to embrace and copy other races in how they help one another not only copying their fashion, food, music. etc
To the question you asked – first, l think we need a lot of awareness campaign in Africa. The idea of being a donor has really never crossed my mind probably because the awareness is not there. I am not too sure there is donor register in Nigeria. Will l do it for a loved one, yes if there is assurance that one can survive with one.
Donation upon death? Hmmmm, in this part of the world, unless one is really sure that donated organs will get to the right person. Stories abound how dead bodies are exhumed from public cemeteries and body parts used for ritual purposes.
Hi readers,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for all the comments so far, they have touched me in a way I can't put into words. My darling Ola thank you for sharing our journey which has inspired your readers. lets pass this message on so we can help others not just exist in life but live life!!
Dela
Education and information is the key to raising awareness and yes we have a long way to go in Africa as its very difficult to even get Africans here to consider organ donation!! However I believe the tide is changing. I attend Jesus House church and I gave a talk on organ donation and I was very encouraged by the number of people who showed an interest in being a donor.
ReplyDeleteThis piece calls for a sober reflection. A lot of factors are responsible for the shortage of donors (living & deceased) such as issues of faith or religion, value systems and beliefs, fear, uncertainty, ignorance amongst others. The Jehovah Witnesses for instance do not believe in life-saving blood transfusions, as this is said to be against their creed. A lot of potential living donors have fears and reservations (understandably so) and are generally not well informed regarding the risks to them, the likelihood of success or failure of transplants and other available options. While a lot of people do not to think that organ transplantation is a big deal, only a minority would in reality sign an organ donor card as some people might think that signing a donor card will increase their chances of fatalities. Truth be told, Nigerians especially are reluctant to even think about their mortality; I had a tough time convincing a lot of my enlightened clients to draw up their Wills. Health care personnel have an extra duty to increase the general level of consciousness of the needs. The public is inherently deserving of accurate information about the medical headway and implications of organ transplantation. Thank God for paired organs that are transplantable. Now these are the real heroes; Tayo and Dela.
ReplyDeleteGod bless Tayo and Dela!
Long live Tayo and Dela!
Aunty Dela,
ReplyDeleteI consider myself blessed as a result of being related to you. You are a source of inspiration not only to me, but to all humanity. Fellow readers, Aunty Dela is not only an advocate for organ donation in the black community, she is also an advocate for helping out children orphaned by AIDS.
The world is a better place because of people like you. As the Master once said, at the end of time he will say in as much as you did to the least of the, you have done for me.
Aunty Dela challenges us to look beyond the narrow confines of our own lives and reach out to lift up our fellow brothers and sisters in need.
Selah.
Thanks for your comments Ahmed and we are fortunate to have your support with our work with children in Nigeria. We are all ordinary people who have gifts, talents and skills that can be used to do extraordinary things in our neighbourhood, community, make people's lives better and change the world. I am happy that by sharing mine and Tayo's experiences it has helped others with kidney failure waiting for a transplant or on dialysis. Being an organ donor is the best gift you can give a person as you are giving them the gift of life.
ReplyDeleteDela & Tayo
ReplyDeleteI have just finished reading the whole of the NHS Organ donation page and one part bothered me.
"There's a particular need for more people of African, African-Caribbean and south Asian ethnicities to join the NHS Organ Donor Register and agree to donate their organs in the event of their death. This is because donation rates among these ethnic groups are low but the need is great.
People from black, Asian and ethnic minority communities are more likely to develop health conditions that can lead to kidney failure, and on average they'll wait a year longer for a kidney transplant than a white patient"
I immediately clicked the online organ donor register link and registered easy as ABC.
Better late than never.
There is so much I want to say to both of you but don't know how, I pray my action says it all .God bless
RBN what a family you have.
That was an interesting and thought provoking read! I am really glad that Tayo is well on the road to recovery and it is inspiring to know the lengths Dela went to help Tayo and the many others who will no doubt have or will benefit from her efforts to raise awareness.
ReplyDeleteI must admit that I have not registered to be a donor and currently do not intend to do so. I cannot lie about such an issue. I have several reasons for this but I will only go into a few – There are far too many ‘Dr Shipman’ types around who would disregard their Hippocratic Oath if they felt I would be worth more dead than alive! Therefore even if there was a chance for me to live – what effort would they make to keep me alive? Also as far as I know, there is no option to decide who your organs land with. I am basically teetotal and the thought of my Liver going to someone who has systematically drenched theirs in alcohol is just not an option! And finally, I have gorged myself on watching hospital dramas such as ‘ER & Grey’s Anatomy’ and am always horrified how soon the request is made for body parts even though they may basically still be alive. I know these are dramas but they do tend to mirror real life events. I would however agree to be a living donor for my siblings or their children but that is where my generosity would end, until convinced otherwise.
My Mother told us a story about when she was in hospital here in London (before – I was born) for a stomach related pain. She was told that she would require surgery the next morning to remove something or the other. During the night a concerned Doctor came see her and essentially told her that she did not require the surgery that was proposed and she should leave straight away for her own good. She did not need to be told twice – She left in the middle of the night. She is still fighting fit till today!!!
Dela – there are several more black people like that need convincing. Our reasons for not registering as a donor may seem trivial but they are real barriers.
Such a lovely post, really glad to hear the outcome. I'm currently registered to donate bone marrow but I have to be very honest. I would have to think very hard about the idea of donating an organ WHILST ALIVE to someone I don't know. However if it was a close family member there would be no question.
ReplyDeleteWords fail me at this time (for people who know me "words failing me" is literally unheard of)
ReplyDeleteI am humbled by Dela and Tayo's story. God bless you both.
Being a living donor is a wonderful thing, I must confess, my problem is not lack of information, just fear!!
I hope I can become that brave and selfless to be a living donor.
This week's blog snaps me out of any self-pity slumber to remember that when "life gives you lemons, you make the best lemonade, bottle it and sell it for a handsome profit"
Dela, your works are inspired.
Tayo, you are blessed beyond measure to have such a strong sister.
SHALOM.
ReplyDeleteI feel so inspired by Tayo and Dela's Journey. I am glad Tayo is on the road to a fulfilling life again.
I know we African's tend to be biased when it comes to being a donor. We think the worst. Albeit, we do not educate ourselves enough to understand the intricacies. Hence, the fear already implanted in our minds.
I have a close friend who went through dialysis 4 years ago. I was with her through her journey. Although, I won't be given an account of her full story in this blog, however this is just to bring to light what OLA stated in her blog about being afraid to be a donor. My close friend had dialysis 3 -4 hrs every 3 days . Some of her family members were willing to be a donor if they match. Unfortunately, a few were not; however her mum and sister were best match after being tested. Her sister was so scared that she burst into tears and later revealed to my friend her fears of not being able to go through with it. She was the best match between her and their mum.
My friend was so devastated. I comforted her and make her understand the fears the sister was facing as she is ignorant of this ailment and has not been informed as much. Yes! The medical team I.e. Nephrologist will have given info on the pros and cons but sometimes this is not enough as you need to be informed and knowledged. Your mind will also need to be set emotionally, physically and mentally.
My friend saw reasons with me. Luckily, her mother eventually stepped forward and decided to be a donor. Her mother took a risk as she was not in 100 % good health. The Nephrologist had to delay the transplant until mum was fit enough for any medical intervention.
To cut the story short. My friend had her transplant 2 1/2 years ago. A year ago she gave birth to a beautiful girl. She is doing Well and living a fulfilling life.
Yemi
Thank you Yemi,
ReplyDeleteI'd been hoping you would mention this, as if you recall, I met this friend of yours a few years back on your birthday and she shared her story with a group of us.
What a selfless mother she has.
She gave me hope for Tayo on that evening.
Glad to know she's doing well and congrats to her on the birth of her baby.
Am glad you recall Ola. It was a fearsome time for her and even dreadful for her loved ones but glad the alarming period came to a stop. I will forward your regards.
DeleteYemi
Yemi, thank you so much for sharing that emotional and wonderful story with us. I am glad that mother and daughter and grand daughter are doing well.
ReplyDeleteMay your friend continue to enjoy good health and happiness. I am just so so so happy with the outcome.
I don't want to be judgemental, but Yemi, how would the sister have felt, if your friend had not made it or mum was not a suitable match? Would she have been able to live with the fact that if she had donated an organ her sister would have had a chace.
Ola your last two pieces are just too emotive and taken us to places where we never expected. They have driven us all Krazy in a nice way. We have taken steps backward and thought about important subjects that really matter, that we would not normally talk about.
God bless Yemi for being there for her friend
God bless mum who donated
God bless the friend who was determined and positive and desperately wanted to survive
God bless mother who risked her life to save daughter
And finally God bless Sister who was too afraid to consider giving an organ to save her sister.
It is a tough one, we hope and pray that we never find ourselves in that situation, we all have good intentions however, when it comes to the crunch we never know how we will react.
God bless.
This was quite a touching piece Ola.Our lifestyles make us prone to develop hypertension and diabetes the 2 main causes of renal failure.
ReplyDeleteArticles such as this and the sterling efforts of cousin Delay will hopefully change our knowledge and attitudes.
Keep up the good work and try to stay focused.
Walk good.
Tayo and Dela, you are not alone on this journey, so many young men and women are also on this trip, but just like you said information and education are vital to allay the fears of potential donor. It is not as easy as it may seem because it also comes with its own challenges.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I will also suggest that apart from the need to donate, the strength to manage tough time like this should also be made known because until this walks through your door you may not really know how to run. Our prayers are with you guys, life can be funny, one minute you are dreaming of many years ahead and the next you are faced with a challenge between life and death.
The answer is you must learn to walk with Him because He has promised that during the difficult times, He will never leave us. Ola, good job, kindly make book available for better information on this. DB
#Yemi 19:45 on 16/5/15
ReplyDeleteAs in the main blog, your experience with your friend must have been a difficult journey. Thank God for all the support she received from her good friends and family.
As an individual who is fearful of being a living donor, I understand her sister's plight. It is easy to say what we will do when the situation is hypothetical, but when it becomes a reality, it is not so clear cut.
#Anonymous@ 21:13 on 16/5/15
You state you don't want to be judgemental, then you lay guilt on thickly. Only her sister knows what her struggles are. A lot of what ifs?
Her sister being "human" doesn't mean she loves her sister less and doesn't make her less of a person either.
For all those commentators who seem very certain of what they will do in similar circumstances, perhaps they should be humble and acknowledge that it is a very, very difficult path to tread.
Once dead, your organs could either save someone else or feed the earthworms. Join the organ donor list and make sure you tell your nearest and dearest to minimise their distress in making the decision at an already difficult time. As far as living donation is concerned, I am happy for tissue typing and bone marrow donation. Organs??? An entirely different kettle... The Avenue says it all. Its difficult to know how we will react till we are down that particular road, methinks.
ReplyDeleteAnd we all need to sort a will out, regardless of age, if we have any assets. The Exchequer awaiteth the ill-prepared.
DokWan
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ReplyDeleteRisikat, well written and its something we need to talk and shout about in the community of blacks and 9ijas. I really understand where you were coming from and its a nasty experience. One of my very good friends had the same problem, but luckily had a transplant and now lives a life as nornal as it can be, but not withouts its problems because of the problem that comes with transplantation i.e. Fear of rejection and infection because of suppressed immune system to reduce rejection. All in all its a million times better than been on dyalysis - it takes over your life and makes the person lifeless and listless. Touch wood hope no one close to me has this problem and if!!!, i will be ready to offer one you dont need the 2 to function. Another issue that get in the way is religion and culture - mainly the believe that you have to go back with all that you came with - absolute rubbish. This idiots that harbours this nasty believe will want NHS to find them one if them one if they needed it. Am of the opnion that opt in rule i.e once you are born in these shores you are automatically a donor unless you opt out and sshould apply if you are applying for permanent residence or citizenship. I will be passing this to my friend to read and pass comments. Good jod. You have raised an important issue. This is my longest comment so far as long as you blog. Cheers
ReplyDelete@FATAI, thank u.
ReplyDeleteBeen watching from back of d classroom since Friday. Some people doing politics and not really been honest or calling a spade a spade. We are a selfish people. Just link kidney donation to Pali (passport) and some people will be offering to donate both.DelIa and Tayo God bless you both and your family.This awareness is overdue. Am on donor register tey tey and I donate blood.
Opt in for donor register rule is way forward
Totally agree. But what we have to remember is that it is not in our culture to think about donating our organs. Poverty and sometimes greed have made some people give their organs for money.
ReplyDeleteI have to say that while I was in 9ja, it never crossed my mind.
Many years ago a school mate's brother had leukemia and helped raise funds for his bone marrow transplant. I did not hesistate soon after that to register for bone marrow donation and recived a letter to say I was matched to someone a few years ago. I would have gladly donated the bone marrow, but after a number of tests can't remember if a more suitable match was found or if I just was not totally suitable.
I am registered to donate my organs in death but would still have to think about live donation if I had to cross that boat.
The story is a journey of love , how many of us will be willing to donate a kidney to a family member? Whilst donating a kidney is relatively safe if the operation is performed in the UK , complications do occur leading to the donated kidney being rejected. I have heard stories in Nigeria where the less privileged offer one of their kidneys for money - there seems to be thriving business in kidney sales. This is a story of love ..
ReplyDeleteIt was Alhamdu Lilahi, which I repeated ten times when I heard the good news from Prince Tayo Idowu’s mother about the successful operation of Tayo’s kidney in England.
ReplyDeleteAs doctors do care we all know that only Almighty God has permanent healing.
The entire family of Odoru Royal Dynasty of Iperu-Remo land and Okun-Owa of Ogun State in Nigeria will forever be grateful to God for His benevolence on Tayo. Dela you are great! We are proud of you.
Dad.
I have read all the comments again and I want to say on behalf of myself and my brother Tayo thank you for taken the time to pen your comments. Especially to my uncle who would call regularly from Nigeria to ask about Tayo's health. We had some great posters as we raise awareness of organ donation in school. I believe more black people will become organ donors in the future.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uBRUwwgm96Q&feature=youtu.be