Hi guys, I wonder why it feels like I've not blogged in ages? Possibly because I'm writing live and direct on day of publishing. A luxury I have today because my smooth operator 'Brother From Another Mother', Guest Blogger, William Ifeanyi Moore will be climbing the Soap Box for a 2nd time. See his previous guest blog here.
There he is at top of post, first time I saw this pic I yapped him as I thought he was sipping tea from a teacup at one of those fake joints in Lagos. He was however so quick to smugly point out to me that he was actually drinking palm wine from a calabash! I say 'Sorry, Mr 'Alan Poser' don't vex o, forgive my assumption! (Palm wine is an alcoholic beverage created from the sap of various species of palm trees this drink is common in various parts of Asia and Africa, including Nigeria)
He then went further to educate me that he had been at Terra Kulture at the time, a leading art, culture, lifestyle and educational centre located in Ikoyi, Lagos.The centre has a theatre.
As all that theatre stuff is too deep for me I changed topic and start to have dig at the guy sitting behind him with the embossed number 3 on the sleeve, those things drive me crazy. William was having none of it and says my comments are tantamount to bullying so I'm forced to move on and not share my view on those polo jersey's <insert straight faced emoticon>
So rather I start to scrutinise the young lady fixating on the same chap besides her, I tell William it's so obvious what the 'set-up' is; that guy is going to pay for the whole meal, small chops, drinks and cab home. William tells me it's not a 'set-up' but rather 'a culture' and that A Naija guy always pays for the whole damn thing, shikena! This I suspect could possibly trigger a full blown debate on Naija women and 'their' own ideologies of Feminism. But let's keep that for another day, in the interim I pass baton to William (CubixThoughts)
While I would like to take the moral high ground and tell you I am completely selfless in my approach to love and women, I will be doing the nation a great disservice and propagating the kind of lie that becomes culture after much repetition. I will confess, I consider money spent on women an investment. In fact I consider time spent on a woman an investment even if it’s just time texting her, so you can only imagine how serious of an investment I take to actually getting dressed, taking someone out, and swiping my card. With the fuel scarcity not going away and traffic being a nightmare I have even been considering lowering my maximum spend. So what is the maximum spend I hear you ask?
When a guy meets a girl they start off in limbo. At this point neither party is sure of what exactly they want from each other. This could be a strictly sex arrangement, friends with benefit arrangement, boyfriend and girlfriend arrangement, and whatever other arrangement you can think up. But in this twilight period when nothing has been established every guy has a maximum he is willing to spend before he regards the investment as a loss or a waste of his time. Some guys will spend up to 100k on a girl without as much as the promise of a kiss, others like me proudly repping the Chewing Gum Boys association peg it down to 20k...currently under review to be dropped to 10k.
Now ladies, before you are all up in arms about this, please consider the struggle we men have to go through. The average single guy is seeing a couple of girls at any given time and being the ones that pay on dates we have to cut our coats according to our size or we won’t have anything left to pay rent with. And come on, how many dates do we have to go on for you to figure out what you want from me? This is not to say the girl owes us sex or anything, but at least there should be some kind of clue as to where the ship is sailing to. I know guys that have blown close to 500k only to end up with the ‘let’s just be friends’ speech. This is wickedness. What kind of friend is that? Can my guy friends collect 100k from my hand when it’s not a matter of life and death? Friendship costing that much is a bad investment in every sense of the word.
For my female friends, they know the drill. When we are out they come with their cards. If it’s just after pay day I can form temporary big boy and pay, but even that is an investment in our friendship because I bring my girl troubles to them and as friends they make my life more fun. No different from how I can hang out with my guys and one of us decides to get the bill.
Ladies, please, for the love of all that is holy, if you know for fact you have no intention of being anything more than a friend, then be a good friend and support your side of the date financially. And for my guys reading, please what is a reasonable maximum spend for the average citizen.
P.S Ladies, you will be surprised how many more dates you will be invited on if a date with you is not seen as a threat to a man’s rent.
The best things in life are free, the 2nd best are very expensive ~ Coco Chanel
At last Blogg! Whoopee!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks Will.
For a while things fell apart and the centre could not hold.
Now all is at ease.
All withdrawal symtoms abated.
My running mate fine boy William u are back.
ReplyDeleteU are welcome to the forum. Have u come to give me competition with your fine face? This blog is not big enough for both of us.
I am yet to digest your postt but will surely be back.
@fineboyj, there is always room for one more fine boy, all these ladies for only you? Sharing is caring lol
Delete@ cubixthoughts
ReplyDeleteYou are a pragmatic bloke...:. I like that.
@RBN
you should have gone to Specsavers!
The calabash is clearly obvious. He is using 2 hands(etiquette of palmwine drinking)
The whole situation is messed up.
Men see women as investments and rightly so!
Women are therefore open to exploitation because they are commodities!!
It's a jungle out there!
lets get down to brass tacks (as the Oyinbos say)
ReplyDeleteWe women should make up our minds what we want.
We don't aid our cause continually allowing men to invest in us when we want to be recognised as individuals with a mind and a brain and not just an 'investments' to yield returns.
This expectation of men that have enough to invest reduces the gene pool drastically and gives way for s---stars who have a few bob to flex their beer bellies (alias six pack)!
Picture this, when you are dating his MINIMUM spend is £50, then you get married and his MAXIMUM spend becomes £40, it will take a saintly wife not to feel dissappointed by her husband. The truth, I would imagine is that the man had strectched himself so much for the courtship that he now has to recoup some of the extra money he has spent.
@cubixthoughts
it is not a bad idea to reduce the maximum spend now to avoid being a let down to your partner at a later date!
Here we go again, its a fine line between investment as define here and waste of money and time. Intention and results can be very different and therefore classification of the expenditure. My 9ija sisters, you worry me sometimes on all occasions its women/ladies first since the adoption of Oyinbo culture except when it comes to spending. This brings me to a debate we had a few months ago as to what you call kado spent on a woman!!!. Usually, the amount 'invested' in a fighter 'what we call girls in my Uni days when I was in Russia', depends on beauty, eleganze - if she what in Yoruba is called Ma je ki omo ta, ma je ki omo ko ere oko dele and most important how quickly the guy expects result(s) etc. Anyway, investing in a woman at the initial stage is no different to placing a bet in Corals or William hills - you just hope that its your time.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm.....Oga o
ReplyDeleteI really have to laugh because not many men will be bold enough to contribute on this issue.
In my time (that is before the age of "Moses"), I can't remember ever having a budget.
I wasn't a spender but rather a shy talker (Ijebu).
I can't really boast of any investment.
ReplyDelete.....Boy nothing in life is free
That's why I'm asking you, what can you do for me?
I've got responsibilities
So I'm looking for a man with some money in his hand!
NO ROMANCE WITHOUT FINANCE
That's how the song goes, no be me talk am.
If a man wants to date a woman, he has to prove that he is up to the task and the only way to do this is to spend, spend, spend.
ReplyDeleteIt is not for me to care how many hours he works. Or where he gets the money from. Bobo-Just impress me!
Shower me with gifts, wine me and dine me . I'm yours. Or maybe not
For once, I belong to no one, I agree with you! Intact 200%. I no dey for manage.
ReplyDeleteThis is Nigeria's problem: just manage!
So gal manages with first date. Major relationship. Marriage. For what? LOVE
When exactly does enjoyment start???
And the beat goes on-------