GUEST BLOG BY FOLUKE GABRIEL: TO KNEEL OR NOT TO KNEEL?

Hello Readers, I’m excited about this opportunity to guest blog on this forum. Let me start with a health warning as this piece may seriously damage your health, if ingested please stay on the line for one week and usual transmission will resume with Risi By Name and further instructions, compensation or refunds are a possibility!

When RBN first asked me to guest blog, I thought to myself “I have a lot to say because I like the sound of my own voice and I am a firm believer in blowing your trumpet lest it becomes rusty from lack of use"

The issue though “Is anyone interested in what I have to say”.

So wetin go interest my people?

Anyway 'sha' (I know, totally meaningless word!) an incident happened this weekend that gave me something that may be of interest to some.

Now this may be particularly Yoruba-oriented but I am sure other cultures have similar  expectations/practices, whatever they happen to be. I wonder if there is any particular meaningfulness to these expectations today. 

Kneeling down and prostrating have long being practiced and accepted a mark of respect for older persons. The question is “Do we still need this symbolism to express respect”

A friend of mine introduced me to her aunty this weekend and as is custom I went into a mini kneel, you know the ‘shakara’ (showing off), ‘city girl’ style which is more of a curtsey than the actual 2 knees 'gadagba' (fully) on the ground practice!

Aunty graciously stopped me in my tracks, showing she is confident in her respectability, dignity and did not require a symbol (like a ‘yeye’ city girl kneeling down) to prove or confirm it. I was very enamoured by such graciousness.

So I pose this question “To Kneel? To Prostrate? Sir/ Ma or none of the above?”

I tried to teach my daughter the whole kneeling down for elders thing, but I have to be honest she is not very compliant so I get rather embarrassed when somebody else’s child kneels or prostrates to me as I know my daughter is not likely to do the same to their parents. To her credit though she pulls the kneeling out of the bag sometimes, kneeling to some random persons. (Randomness runs in our family and she hasn’t fallen far from the tree).

I remember when I was growing up, one day my Dad decided he didn’t like the “yes Daddy” as a response when he called his children. We were expected to say “Sir”.

To me “Sir” suggests a master/servant relationship neither of which was relevant in the Father/child situation, so I spent many a month answering “ah” to his call instead of “Sir” (you need to sound it out to understand the workings of a child’s mind).

Anyway he eventually clocked my game and from then on I was forced to use the dreaded “Sir” until he gave up and “Yes Daddy” became acceptable again. (Oh Happy Days)

What peculiar symbolisms do we expect as a sign of respect, what does it mean to us and what does having such expectations say about us?

Respect your elders. They made it through school without Google or Wikipedia ~ Unknown.