HAVE YOU GOT THE EX-FACTOR?

 

            

'Hello, it's me, I was wondering

If after all these years you'd like to 

Meet and go over everything

They say that time's supposed to heal ya

But I ain't done much healing.'

Fear not! This is not a case of slip of finger and no I've not accidentally copied and pasted a secret love message on blog. Any of you done that before though? You know, sent a message to the wrong person? Like message for Peter to Paul, or message intended for Ronke to Funke? Or sent Valentine greeting for Chichi to Chioma? Or the worst one ever is  texting gossip to the person one is gossiping about!

I have a friend she's forever doing this, I receive birthday greetings from her like 4-5 times a year intended for other people, contact details, addresses, shopping lists, or even texts like "Cook rice before I get home" or "Have you washed the toilet" intended for her children, I've told her 'you this woman you could bring down a government with all these your mix-ups', her defence is that she has nothing to hide, her hands are clean and blames it on old age!

Sorry to digress but for those of you that don't know, this is the opening verse of Adele's latest track "Hello" from her long awaited Album 25. This album is on it's way to becoming one of fasted selling in UK history and mainly because of this track. The combination of Adele's wonderful vocal range and the harrowing lyrics of a woman reaching out and making a phone call to an old flame she still has feelings for, have made this song a killer! 

This song (purportedly) has women worldwide reminiscing about their lost loves and what could have been <<Insert cynical smirk>> aka ***Yimu***

So let's go there: WHAT IS IT WITH HUMAN BEINGS AND THE EX-FACTOR? I use the word ex-factor to cover ex-boyfriend's, ex-girlfriend's, ex-fiancee's, ex-partners and the reluctance of folk to 'let sleeping dog's lie'

Why does the grass appear greener when the horse has bolted from the stable? 

And statistics have it that women are the worst offenders, why do they put themselves through this? Apparently obsessed with their exes, even when they were the ones that ended the relationship or were the ones who got 'served'. How times have changed, back in the day a lost love would drop off the surface of the earth, out of reach, out of touch and off limits.  Now however thanks to Facebook, Twitter and other social media platforms their shadow lingers just a click away! 

One wonders how rosy could things have been in the first place after all the relationship broke down for some reason. 

Now why after a number of years later would one be seeking out an ex either over the phone or via social media to use Adele's lyrics with a 'Hello, it's me' or a very Naija 'What's up now, how far?' or 'Hey I saw your pic on Facebook, and been thinking of you since' 

What would one's intention be or to use Naija lingo 'What are you finding?' (particularly if one is in a relationship)

Or is it just an innocent case of curiosity killing the cat? After all it is common practice for people to set up fake Facebook accounts so they can spy on others. 

Oh the joy of seeing pics of the formerly 'fit' ex now with his pot belly and 'A' cup size breasts standing besides 'mummy' with double chin, in an ill-fitting white'shat' with buttons gaping in a synthetic waterproof wig or the dipping feeling of seeing the ex looking their best ever and even fitter with 6-pack in old age with 'Bae' besides him with luscious locks on her head, eyebrows on fleck, skin glowing, flat stomach in sleeveless Kabba (dress) with Michelle Obama biceps :-(

All innocent curiosity right?

Or maybe Adele's "Hello" is just confirmation that "Okafor's Theory" is valid? For an insight to this theory you could either refer back to my post " Mind Your Language" Where we had 'that' little debate on this subject matter within the comments section. Or here's one I've dug up earlier 

"Okafor's Law states that once a lover, always a lover! 

It emphasises that irrespective of time, place and distance, once you have made love with someone before, there is a 90 percent probability that it will happen again if you meet them again.This law however does not say if it is applicable to only men or women or both"

Here endeth lesson, I rest my case. I'm trusting you guys to educate us. I guess this is the blog post where everyone goes anonymous!

Let's thank God it's Friday and enjoy rest of the weekend. 

Chicken wey run from Borno go Ibadan, go still end up inside pot of soup ~ Unknown

Translation: You can’t run away from your destiny!