WHATSAPP GOT TO DO WITH IT?

      

         

I’m rather slow when it comes to all things social media.

Apart from this blog and my addiction to reading Nigerian online magazines, my only other guilty pleasure in that realm is possibly my use of Whatsapp…or is it really a pleasure?

I was rather late in getting on the Whatsapp bandwagon, I was so hung up on Blackberry Messenger…it suited me fine. The mere fact that user’s did not need to have my telephone number and could be added simply by a unique BBM PIN number made it just right for me, I felt in control. I was somewhat paranoid back then and as Whatsapp started making momentum and people kept asking me to get with the programme I strongly resisted. 

My argument was I didn't like the idea that as soon as I download this app every single Musa, Nnamdi or ‘Funke’ I had on my phone contacts list who had the app would have access to me and be able to send me messages. (‘Kunle’ replaced with ‘Funke’ as I was worried that you guys would say…Haba Ola is it only guys you know!)

My argument was often met with a “but you already have the person as a contact on your phone, so why should that bother you?” and my counter-defence would be the example of storing the telephone number of a local butcher on my phone ‘should in case’ I needed to place an order did not mean I wanted him as a Whatsapp contact! And then they would ‘counter’ my counter-argument with an “Ola get over yourself joor, do you really think you're that hot? don't you know the person would also need to have stored you on there contacts list as well before they knew you were on Whatsapp”

Phew!!! Complicated isn't it? I will get to where I am going.

Anyways these arguments would go back and forth till eventually I caved in and downloaded the app though Blackberry messenger continued to be my favoured choice. 

Whatsapp continues to move from glory to glory with one of the best features being introduction the voice calls between users, this feature has saved me a fortune on Lebara which I use to make international calls…as long as one can tolerate the ‘reconnecting’ buffering issues it’s a good medium for keeping in touch. Though to be honest if one is making a very important call for a serious subject matter I would not recommend it. The free service is not always the best option. 

So here we are all reaping the fruits of Whatsapp, updates are churned out with new features every couple of weeks eg.  last seen stamp, single tick to confirm delivery of message, double blue tick to confirm message had been read, broadcasts, online presence so we can see when people are on line, group chats and the most recent feature is recalling of message we have sent! 

Initially it was all fair in love and war so the romance with Whatsapp was ongoing and each time the notifications came in, the endorphins would kick in as one quickly checked phoned. Almost every phone users has that green and white symbol on their phone home screen!

With time though as we rushed to pick the phone we would read the first line of the message ‘Happy Monday, wishing you a beautiful week filled with joy and happiness’ and you’d smile to yourself ‘ahh how sweet’ then 30 minutes later you’d receive another notification from Grand-Aunt Aduke who has recently signed up to the world of a Whatsapp by her grandchildren, she has sent the same message and when you politely reply ‘Thank you, mummy’ she sends another four 👀

1st message would be one of those health warrior type of messages, you know the kind that tell you that if don't overdose on raw garlic you shall not reap of the health benefits and and will not be immune from terminal illnesses🤔

And 2nd one would be one of those fake news ones, truth often mixed with lies in an attempt to give ‘The Tale by Moonlight’ some semblance of authenticity like a detailed account of how Olori Meghan, Iyawo Prince Harry has black roots and ‘originally’ comes from Ogbomosho, Nigeria & before you know it 'they' have named erected a ‘goldin’ statue of her in ‘Ogboms’ 😩

Then the meme makers will troop out photoshopping Harry and Meghan’s head onto the body of a Nigerian couple in traditional engagement attire, Harry kitted out in Agama lizard shade of green Agbada and Meghan in pit latrine shade of brown iro and buba. Which is actually rather creative and funny until we receive same meme 20 times and it starts to grate on you like ikokore yam. 🙄

Oh yeah, how can we forget the forwarded chain messages, you know the ones that say we must forward to 20 people otherwise…..?????

I’ve said it once in one of my posts and I'm saying it again, ‘Jesus loves me even when I don't forward those chain letters’😐

Yippee I've got there…..The “How To Lose Friends and Alienated People” group chats🙈

Family chat group, 

Secondary school group chat, 

University alumni group chat, 

Hertfordshire Sexy Ladies Group chat, 

Prayer Group chat and the beat goes on and on and on…drum roll. 

The principle behind group chats is good, saves time and can add value when utilised properly. However people often get too personal and when they start pushing ‘those forwards’ which I can only liken to unwanted adverts, they can be a big turn off. The pings come throughout the day and night on our phones and one can wake up to 100 unread notification at times. One should thank Whatsapp for that MUTE Group Chat ‘button’ though as without I don't believe everyone would just be ‘leaving the chat’. 

Another feature of a large Group chat is often people just don't listen to each other, everyone out to advertise ‘their market’ and show their wittiness and skills combined with all that ‘forming’ humility…people using ‘Ma’ and ‘Sir’ for people they used to ‘konk’ on the head back in school  just doesn't ring true. 

What about the fall outs from Whatsapp…..back in the day when we had a tiff with someone you'd have time to cool off,  to think about what's gone down before instantaneously replying unlike now where we can have full blown war of words in cyberspace often typing at speed of 200wpm rather than picking up phone and possibly settling a matter that did not need to escalate to that level. And now they have even complicated it further by adding that ‘recall button’ so we do not even need to caution ourselves at all, we can type any junk without any thought in the knowledge that provided that person has not yet opened message we can now recall the message which is replaced with a ‘this message has been recalled’ Possibly winding up the recipient further wondering what had been recalled 😩

How I wish  Whatsapp could remove the “1 tick, 2 blue ticks, last seen stamp and online presence feature as why do we need to know whether message has been read or when last someone has been online? Person no fit waka for Whatsapp again before you pin ‘pesin’ to corner with your accusation of ‘ah why you no reply my message, I saw you online and know you read because my message was delivered when I saw the 1st tick and noticed later the 2 ticks turned blue when you read ‘ Oh Ye Monitoring Spirits’😂🙈

What's your take on these Instant messaging platforms, friend or foe?  

On that note have a good weekend, let's thank God it's Friday. 

And Risi leaves group 💅🏾

What do people do with the extra time they save by writing “K” instead of “OK”?