IT IS WHAT IT IS...

The goofy ‘social distanced’ photograph above was taken with my mate Chris earlier this week, at work. You may recall in my previous blog post KEEP ON MOVING… 2 weeks ago, I mentioned that some colleagues had been interviewed by ITV News, well Chris just happens to be one of them. I refer to these colleagues as ‘The Chosen Ones’ though it’s not as if I’m bitter about not being the one interviewed or anything, neither am I jealous over their successful ITV debut 😐

Anyways you can imagine my joy this week to find out that BBC News were also visiting the plantation, I got really excited and thought to self ‘Yes Ola this is it’ so you can only imagine the shock, horror, heartache and despair I felt on finding out that as ‘The Chosen Ones’ had already done such a tremendous job at their ITV interview, it had been agreed that it was only logical that they were the ones to be interviewed by the BBC too 🙄.

Chris on BBC News

I make it very clear to Chris that I'm not impressed with him making yet another TV appearance, so he suggests we take a selfie together as he reckons that's the nearest I'm ever gonna get close to fame by my association with him!
So in jest, out come the Rayban’s and a selfie is taken which I annotate with the green handwritten ‘BBC 1’ watermark that you see on the photograph. As the the song goes ‘Fake It Till You Make It….It Took Ya Mama 9 Months To Make It 😘

So basically once again we go through all the shenanigans with filming at the plantation, lights, camera, action the whole shebang. I roll my eyes as Chris, Helen and Lesley are interviewed for a 2nd time though I must admit they come across incredibly professional. The reporter is Michael Buchanan, BBC’s Social Affairs Correspondent.  

Lights, Camera, Action.....Helen in The Hot Seat!

Once filming is complete and reporter is out of sight, I make quick dash over to the camera man’ and from a safe social distance say:

“Mr Cameraman I don’t care who you are and I may not have the authority to force you to film me here today. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career, skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you film me and I appear on BBC news tonight that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you, but if I don't appear, I will look for you, I will find you and I will deal with you” 😐😳
(Round of applause for Liam Neeson, if you know you know, otherwise kindly ‘revert’ to Iconic Movie quotes)

Well maybe I didn't actually speak to him in those exact words, but what I did tell him after he had filmed ‘The Chosen Ones’ 🙄 and was packing up his equipment away I smugly slid across the room smiling at him sweetly “Bros but why now? Can't you see that I'm an ethnic minority, where is the diversity in the filming you have done here today, you can't leave without filming me oh, I must appear on the BBC news representing BAME (Black, Asian and minority ethnics) on this plantation furthermore I pay my TV licence fee and I know my rights 👀”

One minute silence please……The awkward moment my ‘STAY WOKE’ brothers Akeem and Ahmed bring out a bowl of water, pour Dettol inside, then wash their hands of me with thoughts of ‘Ola you’re actually playing and abusing the race card!’ 👀 translated to ‘Egbami o, doesn't this girl have any shame’ 🙆🏾‍♂️

Anyways, one Smart Alec co-plantation worker (every plantation unfortunately has one!) quickly chips in “Come on Ola the coverage is diverse, after all they’ve filmed both male and female colleagues here today, is there no pleasing you”😏  I eyeball him!

By now the camera man is smiling to himself, possibly thinking ‘what a fruity mix here’ but next thing I notice he does actually start unpacking his tripod, camera, lights and ‘tinzs’ and sets up again in the corner of plantation😮
I then attempt to push my luck further by casually asking camera man whether he could possibly make me look slimmer in the footage, he replies “WTF lady…. I'm a cameraman not a magician”, well not really! he actually ignores me but starts panning the camera across the office towards me, so I sprint towards a desk. No time to powder nose, sit straight or pull my stomach in. Say 'cheese' Ola 🎬📸😩

It's So Hard Being Me!

The rest is history as that same evening my phone starts ringing and pinging…..as Risi By Name makes her Ollywood debut (Pun intended).  Risi don enta anada leffulls 😜
My ‘silhouette’ features on the 1pm, 6pm and 10pm BBC news on 19th May.
The next morning I strut into work like a peacock, Scoreboard currently reads Chris-2, Ola - 1

Another Day....Another £

Do you have any claim to fame? Even if only a nanosecond TV appearance like mine!
In fact I must share this one, at a BC (Before COVID) birthday family outing back in September as we kicked off the evenings celebration with an icebreaker, my cousins wife said her claim to fame was that as an unfertilised egg in her mother’s fallopian tube that it was HER and no other egg that made tedious long journey down to the uterus to be fertilised by one of the million spermatozoa vying for her attention. THAT she claimed was literally a life changing event in her life and her greatest achievement till date, How's that for originality? 😏

Extra Extra Read All About It: Dominic Cummings has also been caught out flouting the Lock down rules. It really does seem they make the rules, punish us if we break them and then defend each other if they do the same thing. I really wonder if he will last the week!

On that note, remember to maintain that 2 metre gap and enjoy the rest of your day.
It's a wrap.

Shoes speak louder than words👠👠👠👠~ Anonymous

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