HERE COME THE BOYS....

                           
  

There was big hoha a few weeks back in Naija when a church in the build up to running a programme decided to give it a somewhat provocative tag line. 

We all know these tag lines, the more catchy, the more likely they are to gather attention and grow the ministry. 

They usually go something along these lines:

Oh God, Na Like This We Go Dey? (Single and Married Talk Show!)

Pray Yourself Towards A Husband Before End of 2017~ Revelation Power Assembly

Rid Yourself of Spiritual Husband in 10 Days~ Banqueter’s Ministry😩

King Of Curses & Demonic Covenants ~ Prison Break Ministries 

Lord Where Is My Money~ Comforters Chapel😐

4 Days Travel Programme: Anointing To Travel, Fast Track To America (true story folk, I did not make that one up!)

SUGAR & SPICE....

                                   

Hi Guys that’s my niece, Kanyinsola with me at the top of this post, she turned 10 on the day we took this pic but as a family member was also celebrating their 50th birthday on same day, she didn’t get to throw her own party. People say we look alike; I know we do, real chip off the old block isn't she? I just hope she doesn't inherit my temperament ( I guess her parents are wishing the same thing too)

So we pushed the celebrations forward to the following week, when she held a disco party for her school mates. 

Every year when my nephew and niece birthday are approaching the all important, life changing, decision has to be made……Do you want a Naija party or party for your class mates at school?

RANDOM THOUGHTS.....

Hi guys, sorry for the break in transmission.Yes I know it's been a while now since I last blogged, but well you know my motto….life happens!

Anyway luckily for you guys (never been one to be humble am I?) an old friend of mine has managed to get me to start writing again.
I had lost contact with them for a number of years and when I read from them recently through whatsapp, as we were discussing the situation ‘on ground’ in Naija and it’s influence on The Andrew-I'm-checking-out brigade.  It suddenly dawned on me that they were unaware that I had have a blog.
So I quickly sent them one of my most popular blog posts and asked them for feedback, surprisingly when I got their reply it was not what I expected….they replied and I quote:

IF YOU WANT TO HIDE SOMETHING FROM A BLACK MAN....

               

Ever heard of this expression "If you want to hide something from a black man, put it in a book" (or write it down)?

Well, yesterday I had such a busy day, so to unwind in the evening I popped in to see my nephew and niece. I sat there watching them do their home work and couldn't help notice their English textbooks. The topics jumped out at me 'Verbal Reasoning', 'Punctuation', 'Comprehension' and as I flipped through the pages it's all came flooding back and I commented that I wish I could do it all again. You know, like start off afresh, learning my A,B,C from the basics. I 'fessed up that I often mix up the use of punctuation marks and how at times when writing I muddle the whole speaking in First person, Second person and Third person thingy.  As for the 'Past Tense, Present tense' stuff let's not go there.

NOT THE 'OTHER ROOM'.....

I've counted around 30 articles on social media relating to President Buhari's 'Other Room' comment about his wife. Everybody has a view on the matter. On this one occasion and for the benefit of those of us 'Not into' Naija jist I will desist from referring you to 'our friend Google' and give you a quick summary. While President Buhari was on tour in Germany (How many countries has this guy visited this year??) his wife Aisha Buhari, granted BBC an interview where she made some 'not too palatable' observations about her husband's presidency. In response to her comments, during a Press conference when Buhari was questioned about his wife's political affiliations, he said as far as he was concerned, she belonged in the Kitchen, Living Room and 'THE OTHER ROOM'.

OUT OF THE MOUTH OF BABES 2

          

Who loves healthy family debates?

My mind goes back to last week.

It was my siblings against my brother who is also known as 'Alatenumo' this his nickname I think literally translates to 'A person that can go on and on about something' 

Those of you that know of him will know that he is racially and politically conscious. A voice for the underdog and he puts it out there in his writings. He does not mince his words. 

Anyway he is role model for my 7 year old nephew and 9 year old niece who are quite close to him. Like all kids they look forward to their birthdays and Christmas when they are assured of receiving interesting gifts from uncle. 

SPARE THE ROD....

   

I was reading a quote on a meme the other day it read something like this:

My parents spanked me as a child, as a result I now suffer from a psychological condition known as "Respect For Others" 

I smiled to myself as it all came flooding back.  I have a distant memory of myself, brothers and sister as children sitting in the car with my mum stuck in Lagos traffic. The hawkers are all out with their wares, a mallam selling horse whips pushes his head through the car window offering my mum a horse whip, 'Madam buy this horsewhip (also known as koboko) for your pikins'  

ARISE, O COMPATRIOTS.....

                              

Happy 56th Independence Day, my fellow Nigerians.

I woke this morning thinking to myself 'Ola you gotta blog about your homeland to mark October 1st' so I dragged myself up from bed seeking some inspiration but unfortunately drew a blank! I really did try, propping myself up and gazing at an image of our National flag but sorry folk 'nuttin'.

I listened to our national anthem, still 'shi-shi'

I even visited our friend Wikipedia staring at an image of the Nigerian Coat of Arms.  

'I look' the 2 white horses supporting the shield. 'I Look' the Eagle, Phoenix, Guinea fowl or whatever on the top with the words 'Unity and Faith, Peace and Progress' embossed at the bottom and thought to myself 'WOW, who Nigerian Independence 'epp?'

AFTER THE REGGAE PLAY THE BLUES....

      

Yeah I've done it again. 

Narcissistic me taking pride of place 'On top of blog' with my homeboy TJ who happens to be a friend's son and Minister Of Enjoyment's nephew. 

As you know there is always method in the madness, so obviously today we will be discussing all things 'Sport'. And as you wonder what's sporty about that pic, well I put it to you that me wearing that t-shirt embossed with a silhouette of my idol, Reigning Olympic Champion, Jamaican Usain St. Leo Bolt striking his famous pose is the closest you will get me to doing anything sporty. That t-shirt is 'The Truth' and those of you that know me well will know about my addiction to him and that coincidentally we also share the same birthday. I've had the T-shirt since the 2012 London Olympics,  a gift from my brother, I think his reasoning at the time would have been 'ah, this girl is showing passion in something apart from food, let's encourage her'. I cherish it, it's brought out periodically and worn with so much pride. 

THE HUSTLE IS REAL....

          

Hello it's me, Happy New year. 

Yes I know it's the month of August and it's been a while but the truth is 'life happens'

So 'hey ho' here I am in all my glory (cap in hand) the struggle is real!

The worse thing about taking this break from blogging was the day I was all fired up and ready to pick up from where I left and start blogging again, I had a technical glitch and could not access my blog account from my iPad. It was literally a case of "Man proposes God disposes' An update was required before I could log-on to Blogspot this however was impossible as my ipad was filled with photographs, videos and my music. I considered deleting some pics to create space but after scrolling through numerous selfies of my gorgeous self back in the day looking 7kg lighter and all 50 shades of cuteness, I said to myself 'no way, the pics gotta stay'. I'm not losing these memories. 

HAVE YOU GOT THE EX-FACTOR?

 

            

'Hello, it's me, I was wondering

If after all these years you'd like to 

Meet and go over everything

They say that time's supposed to heal ya

But I ain't done much healing.'

Fear not! This is not a case of slip of finger and no I've not accidentally copied and pasted a secret love message on blog. Any of you done that before though? You know, sent a message to the wrong person? Like message for Peter to Paul, or message intended for Ronke to Funke? Or sent Valentine greeting for Chichi to Chioma? Or the worst one ever is  texting gossip to the person one is gossiping about!

IT WAS A COLD DARK NIGHT......

      

The weather has taken a turn for the worst and 'they' say it's going to be bitterly cold this Christmas. On this side of the pond by 3pm it's already getting dark, giving an illusion the day has already ended. If you're a 'nine to fiver' you can get caught in that cycle of wishing your life away in the rat race cycle of wake>>work>> home>> sleep. If care is not taken one could start to feel rather 'low' and presenting SAD syndrome.  

A quick copy and paste job from Google defines "Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) as a type of depression that comes and goes in a seasonal pattern. SAD is sometimes known as "winter depression" because the symptoms are more apparent and tend to be more severe during the winter. The symptoms often begin in the autumn as the days start getting shorter. They're typically most severe during December, January and February.

FAREWELL MUBARAK....

   

Hello guys, you may recall back in June I wrote a blog post about my friend Annie's horse,   Mubarak and my visit to the stable yard. See post "When Risi Met Mubarak" here.

Sadly Mubarak became ill over the weekend and passed away. She was a loyal companion who Annie considered a soul mate, she will be sorely missed.    

Annie, may warm memories of Mubarak warm your heart always. On behalf of blog readers I say thanks for sharing her with us Xxx

When you are on a great horse, you have the best seat you will ever have ~ Sir Winston Churchill

IT'S NOT THAT DEEP!

                              

I wonder how many of you are like me!

I can worry and fret for England. When faced with a situation I'll magnify the issue, sit down whinge, whine and complain. I'll imagine the worst case outcome of that scenario, replay it in my head, rewind, fast forward and live it in my imagination. I've been known to go on like a broken record and over-analyse things. I really wonder how my people cope with me. At times when I'm over analysing a situation the girls have a default response for me! It's the above statement 'Mum, it's not that deep!' This really winds me up and I ask them 'what do you mean it's not that deep??' And the reply is usually " But it's not mum!!!"

I've checked the urban dictionary for the definition of this phrase it means "The situation at hand does not require such desperate actions or "stop being so dramatic"!!!

SEVEN DAYS!

       

                   

Hi guys, the last few weeks have been rather hectic as duty called and I made a trip to the motherland. Some of you may be aware that a trip to Naija is somewhat different from what we know to be the usual type of 'holiday' where it's a simple case of throwing a pair of shorts, jeans, a few t-shirts and sun hat into a suitcase and taking off for a relaxing break.  For a Naija 'destination' holiday from the moment you know that you are to travel, stress levels increase, military precision is a must and all angles must be covered. At times we travel back home for pleasure but in most cases it's a family celebration wedding/engagement, funeral or milestone birthday that takes us draws us back home. And so the games begin!

THE EMPEROR AND HIS NEW CLOTHES

Hi guys, this week Naija’s social media was set ablaze with Chinese whispers about The Emir of Kano.

For those of you that don’t know Emir Of Kano is one of the highest traditional titles in the Northern Part of Nigeria. It is very common for traditional leaders to engage in polygamy by marrying more than one wife. Well the current Emir who already has 3 wives allegedly got married last week Friday to an 18 year old woman (or girl? It is debatable).

IT'S A MAN'S WORLD!

                                  

    

Hello, kindly indulge me as I recap on the recent Ashley Madison (AM) website hack shenanigans. Can I hear you yawning? Sorry to bore you but trust me there is method in my madness and I'm really going somewhere with this one. 'Should in case' you were sleeping and had not heard. The AshleyMadison website was set up to hook up married people that want to have affairs! The Website's logo is 'Life is short. Have an affair'. 

Everything was going smoothly for this website with millions of fee paying subscribers world wide until a group of hackers aka The Impact Team issued an ultimatum that the website should be shutdown as the concept of AM was wrong, causing hurt, breaking up famlies blah blah blah.

GUEST BLOG BY FOLUKE GABRIEL: TO KNEEL OR NOT TO KNEEL?

Hello Readers, I’m excited about this opportunity to guest blog on this forum. Let me start with a health warning as this piece may seriously damage your health, if ingested please stay on the line for one week and usual transmission will resume with Risi By Name and further instructions, compensation or refunds are a possibility!

When RBN first asked me to guest blog, I thought to myself “I have a lot to say because I like the sound of my own voice and I am a firm believer in blowing your trumpet lest it becomes rusty from lack of use"

The issue though “Is anyone interested in what I have to say”.

So wetin go interest my people?

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR!

             

In case you're wondering, this is how this one goes down.

Those of you that know me, will be aware that my dad has been with us on a visit from Nigeria. It has been so much fun having him around, I literally hugged him all to myself for the duration of his visit. 

'Anyways' about a month ago I got a call from a friend of mine, Clementina, (see previous post about her here) she tells me I should stop all my stinginess and share my dad around. I was kind of miffed and wondering where she was going with this one! She then goes ahead to give me a date and asks whether dad will be available on this day, being that she's given us a full month's notice nothing had been planned so I tell her 'yes'. She says that's fine and in that case she has only one favour to ask of me, Can I make my garden available to her on the day?

Now I'm getting a bit worried and ask her what is she planning, she tells me not to bother my pretty head (well she didn't actually refer to my head as being pretty, but I think it sounds nice written like that!). She tells me she will pop around on the day and have 'small' BBQ for dad and that I should invite my brothers and she has the 'girls' on board. 

By the girls she's referring to our friends Uloma, 'Abeni' and Ada.

WE'RE ALL GOING ON A SUMMER HOLIDAY!

    

Hi there, it's that time of the year again, August month of holiday 'don come'. Our people have arrived for 'summer' Don't you just love it? 

Well I do anyway! Arik Air, Virgin Atlantic and British Airways flying in live and direct from Naija left, right and centre. Then we have the beloved KLM, Air France, Turkish, Emirates, Kenya, Ethiopia and other airlines that do 'that little detour' before they reach 'our backyard aka L'abroad' The UK. 

As you pull up at The Arrivals Short Term Car park London, Heathrow (praying you have the right Terminal) no pressure, you are literally 'on timer' as the clock starts ticking; 1st hour parking £6.50, 2-3 hours £10.50, 2-3 hours £13.00, 3-4 hours  £17.00, 4-5 hours £21.00 and so on and so forth. But we're not fussed are we? After all there is no way Mammi, Popsie, In-law, Besto, Cousin, Friend, Boo, Bae or Foe will have anything to declare, so clearing immigration should be a doodle and speedy process right? <quick glance sideways>

We look at our wristwatch, synchronise time with parking ticket and if you're anything like me start sprinting towards the Arrivals lounge, as for 'me and my house' £10.50 is the max, there is no way I want to pay more than that for any airport parking runs!

GUEST BLOG BY WILLIAM IFEANYI MOORE: MAXIMUM SPEND

                    

                            

Hi guys, I wonder why it feels like I've not blogged in ages? Possibly because I'm writing live and direct on day of publishing. A luxury I have today because my smooth operator 'Brother From Another Mother', Guest Blogger, William Ifeanyi Moore will be climbing the Soap Box for a 2nd time. See his previous guest blog here.  

There he is at top of post, first time I saw this pic I yapped him as I thought he was sipping  tea from a teacup at one of those fake joints in Lagos. He was however so quick to smugly point out to me that he was actually drinking palm wine from a calabash! I say 'Sorry, Mr 'Alan Poser' don't vex o, forgive my assumption! (Palm wine is an alcoholic beverage created from the sap of various species of palm trees this drink is common in various parts of Asia and Africa, including Nigeria)

He then went further to educate me that he had been at Terra Kulture at the time, a leading art, culture, lifestyle and educational centre located in Ikoyi, Lagos.The centre has a theatre. 

As all that theatre stuff is too deep for me I changed topic and start to have dig at the guy sitting behind him with the embossed number 3 on the sleeve, those things drive me crazy. William was having none of it and says my comments are tantamount to bullying so I'm forced to move on and not share my view on those polo jersey's <insert straight faced emoticon>

WHAT'S UP DOC?

                      

I really don't mean to put you off your breakfast or early morning tea but the other day I was jisting with my brother about an uncle of ours who was unwell. The strange thing though was the way he went about describing his symptoms to me. He said his tummy was "funny" this I took to mean that he had a running stomach. I was about to give him my spill about eating dry foods and no more fruit blah di blah however upon further questioning it transpired that he was actually feeling constipated. I became so cross.

As I told my brother, he laughed and asked why was I so wound up over such a small thing and he asked was I not aware that 'our people' were always like that when it came to describing ailments and he went on to remind me of the other phrase used to describe the feeling of dizziness i.e. "My eyes are turning me", he asked me where did I want him to start? Was it our love for self medication, self-diagnosis, mis-diagnosis, old wives tales, home remedies or what? 

LETTER TO UNCLE: YISA SULEIMAN-OBA 1950 - 2014

      

                                                                 Yisa  Suleiman-Oba (YSO)

Most people who know me would have heard about one 'Aunty Eni'. She's a dear friend of mine and sadly a year to date herself and children went through a very traumatic experience, they lost a much loved Father, Grandfather; her husband Yisa Suleiman-Oba (Y.S.O.) after a battle with Prostrate Cancer. 

Words cannot possibly describe what she and the family would have gone through. 

They however will be eternally grateful to a number of organisations that provided support to Aunty Eni in caring for uncle such as the NHS, including the out-of-hours service, the District nurses, Macmillian Nurses and The Peace Hospice in Watford. They also thank friends and family members that selflessly supported them.

Aunty Eni and family are currently in Nigeria to mark the 1st year remembrance. 

Last year for the 40th day Fidau Prayer, a few of us wrote tributes that were published in memory of Uncle. This was my first time ever of writing for 'the public'. Having spoken with Aunty Eni I have her go ahead to share mine with you on the anniversary. 

Uncle, Rest in perfect peace.

SAVE THIS DATE: SATURDAY 29TH AUGUST 2015

             

                 NSSFF Sports Day 2013

At times one has to do the least flattering things to catch you guys attention!

And this is how this one goes down: here I am inviting you to The 4th Nigerian School Sports & Family Fun Day (NSSFF) taking place on Saturday 29th August 2015 (Bank Holiday weekend) at Norman Athletics Track, Norman Park, Hayes Lane, Bromley, Kent, BR2 9EJ between 11:00 -19:00.  

It was a bit of a kerfuffle deciding what image to use at top of this post, I could have used the official poster for the event but thought this pic of me and some of 'the girls' at this same event back in 2013 might just be what it takes to grab your attention, unwedge you from your seats and get you to the venue!

WHAT'S AGE GOT TO DO WITH IT?

                                       

                        

It's so hot.

Hottest day of the year so far they say. I've seen people all shapes and sizes! What's it with 'these people' here and the sun? Any excuse to strip off and expose their bodies. My eyes have seen today eh! Who am I to talk though, thinking about my outfit I wore to work, a bit on the short side and sleeveless. With a bit more flesh on display than is my usual taste, but with this heat today it became a matter of comfort over modesty!

'Anyways' sorry to digress so as I sit here fanning myself and taking stock, tomorrow marks the start of the 2nd half of the year I'm trawling through comments on some of my older posts. I'm my 7th month 'in' with this blogging thingy majiggy. My word, you lot are such a 'bunch'. Even William 'our' guest blogger last week found you guys ever so funny. Which brings it all home to me that it is all about you guys.

GUEST BLOG BY WILLIAM IFEANYI MOORE: ATTENTION DEFICIT DISORDER: A 21ST CENTURY KILLER.

                                   

Hi guys, let me introduce you to my 'Brother From Another Mother', William Ifeanyi Moore. That's him in the pic above with me besides him!

Hmmm now where do I start? Well one day I stumbled across an interesting article written by him in Bella Naija, see here.

And the rest is history, blah di blah!

So now you lucky guys are stuck with a short, sharp Guest Blog by William, here today!

In the pic above I think he's at a museum or somewhere. He has very quirky pastimes that do not particularly interest me, he's also rather deep and philosophical and most times I do not really understand half of what he talks about! One thing I can say about him though 'HE WRITES'.

And on that note guys I hand the baton to William (Cubixthoughts):

ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE ME.....

         

Fear not, I've not lost the plot I'm not about to start 'cussing' you guys out!! I appreciate your custom. Don't you just love it though? We've seen it too often many times, blog author gets carried away and feels they are in their comfort zone so they start to cuss out their readers!'

There's a particular Naija blogger, one Aunty based in Germany, she has this habit of getting rather 'verbal' with her readers, there is nothing she will not say when her readers 'express their opinion' she's not happy with, she literally goes for the jugular! When she's yapping them she says she's 'having a rant', but still has quite a few readers. In fact when she's finished yapping her blog visitors they will even usually start pledging their allegiance to her and assuring her, that they are all 'forever loyal to her government!! 

On a slow news day she'll post a random question and ask her readers to have a rant about any topic they choose!! Mind blowing isn't it? Then all of them will start; the aggrieved wife, angry side chic, the oppressed daughter-in-law, the cuckolded 'horzband'. Imagine 30 comments from 30 angry people!!

WHEN RISI MET MUBARAK!

                                     

Ever tried taking a selfie with a horse? Well I've been there, done that and worn the T-shirt, not an easy task I tell you!

Now this was not how it was planned, honestly!

I had always thought the first time I make an appearance on a post, I'd be looking 'the part' my slimmest ever, skin blemish-free, make-up on point, eyebrow game forever strong, best side on display, standing against the back drop of one of the most envious place ever. Alas, this was not meant to be, Man proposes......blah di blah. 

So what I'm treating you guys to instead is a blurry pic of me with my mate Annie and her horse, Mubarak aka MuMu, on a windy rainy summer evening at the stable yard. 

LEVELS DON CHANGE! (PART 2)

           

  

Earlier this week I was doing what I do best (No, not stalking your 'fotos' on your respective social media profiles!!) reminiscing with my dad and brother. And out of the blues my dad asks 'Ola what happened to that former boss of yours....you know the one that you worked with at Anthony Village, I can't remember his name ..ermmm' before my dad could land I chipped in "Mr Ooh" dad says yes 'Mr Ooh that was the name'

Dad sighs and says "what a character!!" To myself I'm thinking referring to Mr Ooh as a character was letting him off lightly. I then have a light bulb moment and tell my dad and brother, that It would be a disservice not to dedicate a blog post to Mr Ooh. As my brother starts to laugh, Dad cautiously asks  'are you allowed to do that, Ola. You don't want to put yourself in trouble'. I explain that I would not be mentioning Mr Ooh's real name, anything derogatory or untrue so what harm could it possibly do, I'm simply gonna put it out there!

OYA GIFT, PUT OFF THE LIGHT O....

                           

I'm going to do things in reverse order this week and sort out housekeeping before the 'main d main' (main subject matter). A big thank you for all feedback, comments raised by my last post "More Than a Match....' 

Organ donation within the black community, what a discussion. Hopefully what Dela, Tayo and myself set out to achieve was accomplished. 

Now this may sound a bit like deja vu, but there I was the other day doing what I do best in my spare time, looking at my contacts display pictures, yes I know!! < Insert 'get a life' emoticon> and I spot a pic of a lady on a 'sister from another mother's' profile. Accompanied with the words "Ele toh badt, happy birthday to you"