BECAUSE I'M YOUR MOTHER THAT'S WHY!

                    

I visited a garden centre over the summer hols where they had a wide range of fridge magnets with comical and inspirational messages accompanied by a lovely picture. The image at the top of this post is the one that caught my fancy and which I bought for the following reason:

Where I come from (a phrase you folk will be hearing constantly on this blog!) the word 'mother' when used as in the above message can be swapped with any of these other words; father, auntie, uncle, teacher, older sister/brother or elder. In full context message would read like

this ' Because I am your elder that's why your argument is invalid, so don't even think of questioning me or arguing with me' These words could be spoken to a child, young person, teenager or adult depending on the circumstances. As a matter of fact the words do not even need to be spoken, they can be acted out and I'm going to display this by sharing a true life experience with you.

My daughters love to attend what they call 'Nigerian parties' these could be weddings, landmark birthdays, engagements, naming ceremonies or simply the 'I-have-arrived-I-want-to-spend-my-money' parties. The whole dressing up for the occasion, tasty food in abundance, loud Naija hip-hop music supplied by DJ or a band, mingling with other teenagers in attendance and the general vibe really excites them.

They do have one major bugbear about attending these parties though, and its what they call the hindrance of those 'random uncles'. I overheard them talking about this the other day and I was intrigued. 

For purposes of this post I've called them into my room as I write and asked them to define what is a 'Random Uncle' . They explain that a random uncle is a man (unknown to them) at a 'Naija' party that wears sunglasses even though he's inside a building and obviously not a ray of sunlight is in sight, just sitting there continuously adjusting the sleeves of his agbada (Nigerian male outfit) over his shoulder, not smiling or anything, toothpick glued to one corner of his mouth, constantly hissing out at children walking by with orders for them to top-up his plate with puff puff, rice, meat, small chops but mostly they request for the child to get them drinks.

My girls claim this is so annoying, that it happens at most parties and that they now make a game of it, betting each other and friends at parties who can get from one end of the hall to the other without being hijacked. They say they can be sent to the food service points a number of times by up to 3 to 4 different random uncles and that they have to queue each time and it takes the fun out of the party! The worst part they claim is when they bring back the food to the random uncle's table they rarely get a thank you but rather after a few seconds of inspecting the plate a grunt of ' Ah ha, why only chicken and meat don't they have cow-leg or fish?'

I asked them what about 'random aunties' or weren't they also guilty of this type of behaviour, they said no because most aunties prefer to serve the food themselves (do I sense a bit of sexism going on here?).

Anyway I hold my breath and ask the girls the all important question ' well if you dislike serving random uncles food at Naija parties why don't you just say sorry I'm not allowed to talk with strangers, and walk away?' And their response makes me feel I must be doing something right as a mum as they burst out laughing and ask me how would they dare not? That it would be so disrespectful not to because he is older than them and it's just what they have to do. And if the matter was reported to me they would be in big trouble. And they go on to say furthermore it is no different from when I've call them from their bedroom to get me a glass of water when I'm actually downstairs and much closer to the kitchen than them! (Yes I have been known to do this on occasion but I ran such errands for my mum, she did it for her mum, and her mum for my great grand mum and life goes on, so kini big deal!!)

The girls explain that they may have these thoughts but they just understand it is the 'done' thing in our culture. They went on to say it's even more important to be respectful to people they meet when they go out than to me at home (really girls, seriously??)

Back in the day the way it worked where I come from was when anything was asked of you by an elder whether you liked or not you must 'Obey first, complain later' on second thoughts you just obeyed and there was no forum for complaints!!! You just did not ask 'why' it was not debatable. Even as a grown woman it was always 'yes mummy'

And I guess you guys likewise remember how it was back then and could tell a tale or two!

Thanks for all your feedback, comments and follows. I've had so much fun with this blog. I find that it's your comments that really add value to what I am doing. You'll notice that comments on my second post 'Out Of The Mouth Of Babes!' have been much more playful and interactive, we have a gradual build up of banter and a few regular 'commentators' namely Deji, FTA, Tola, Demola, Alatenumo, Mummy Dun, Foluke and HipHopPsych. I'm aware that there are still some teething problems with the posting of comments and I appreciate the fact that some of you have found work rounds to posting, like posting under anonymous then signing name at the end. Please can I ask that you continue to try or maybe some of the 'IT Gurus' in the building may give us a few tips. 

In other breaking news, the posters of the first five comments on my next post will receive an exclusive 'Risi By Name Blog' Hamper. And this is where I need your help guys; in addition to a pack of St.Louis sugar, Blue band butter, Cabin biscuits, Milo, a tin of Geisha, Lipton tea, Goody-Goody toffee and Peak milk, what other luxury items do you suggest could be added to this list? Please use your imagination!

So all you random uncles and aunties out there, stop bothering the young ones, thank God it's Friday and have a great weekend.