Oh dear, it's that time of the year again, love is in the air, St.Valentine lands at the stroke of midnight. The kata-kata this guy will cause na wa!!!
There will be proposals of marriage, love will be re-ignited, the day will mark the start of many relationships and the end of a few, (research has it that February 15th is International Break-up day, as couples would have had the opportunity to re-evaluate their relationships on Valentine's day and summon up courage to call it quits the next day. So much for useful facts of the day!).
Side chicks will be separated from main chicks, side boo and main boo will find their level, restaurants will be fully booked, prices inflated, returns however shall be yielded by a baby boom in the month of November!
London Fire Brigade have said it was "concerned" the Valentine release of the 'racy' film 'Fifty Shades of Grey' could lead to a "spike" in people being stuck or trapped in handcuffs or rings!! (True story. My source?? BBC London news!!!)
This is also a day that takes a few back down memory lane as the memories still linger. Candle lit dinner, table for two, music in background as the saying goes 'behind every favourite song there's an untold story'
Marvin Gaye's 'Sexual healing'
Betty Wright's 'Tonight is the night'
Teddy Pendergrass' 'When somebody loves you back'
Luther Vandross' 'Power of Love'
Al Green's 'Let's stay together'
Peabo Bryson's 'Tonight I celebrate my love for you'
These tunes take me back to a birthday 'come chop' I attended some time ago (I call it 'come chop' as it wasn't really a party, just a few ladies gathered in the birthday girls' homely kitchen on a Saturday evening with food, drink and music in abundance). All the ladies on the kitchen floor swaying to these cool ballads, eyes closed and clicking their fingers as they sang along.
By the way, why do women of a certain age group raise their hands up to their faces and click their fingers when dancing along to these classic oldies?
A Kill-joy friend of mine always points this out to me. Since then whenever she's around I try to keep my arms firmly glued to my sides!!
Anyway back to the matter, one of the girls, 'Salawa' (also known as Sally depending on the setting!!) is sitting down deep in thought and shaking her head as each tune is blasting out the music box, we ask her "girlfriend, what's the problem, turaka now (loosen up) what's wrong?" she replies "I hate all these useless, rubbish songs that deceived me!"
We're all like, 'Haba, deceived you like how?'
'Salawa' tells us back in the day, when 'the gin was still in the bottle' (cough, accompanied with a wink!) these love songs gave her such false expectations of relationships and made her believe that marriage would be a bed of roses. Meanwhile her reality was 15 years into marriage rather than hubby returning from work and professing undying love for her on a daily basis, he'd formed the habit of walking into the house, kicking off his shoes, loosening his tie, rubbing his tummy and asking 'Sally, I beg please help me organise some eba'
So much for romance right?
From there everything started to 'scatter-scatter', with our gene pool of opinionated ladies, everybody with their own view on the matter ranging from "that's the problem I have with our men" to "don't use your own situation to judge my own, my boo is nothing like that, he buys me flowers every day" to " that's why I don't need a man in my life" followed by a "that's why hubby and I have drawn up rota for cooking" to "why would you be expecting a man after hard days work to be declaring undying love to you" to "This marriage thing is truly over-rated" and a "you should be thankful, don't you know the way to a man's heart is through his stomach!" crowned with a "it's not his fault, sebi you are the one sitting at home waiting for him"
So yes this relationship thingy is subjective, we all have different expectations!
What are your expectations from a relationship? What's the most romantic thing you've ever done?
And while we're on the topic of love I'll give you another true life story. I once worked with a colleague, 'Nkechi' who pigeon holed all prospective suitors into 3 categories namely:
Fian-A: Pot-bellied old man, filthy rich otherwise known as sugar daddy, who would cater for all financial needs but whom she would never consider for marriage.
Fian-B: Relatively comfortable guy with a few coins to spare, good job, "english speaking" i.e well spoken, aje butter (we've covered definition in my previous posts!), but rather 'up himself', arrogant, full of attitude, control freak and cocky, his ace was dangling promise of marriage like carrot to numerous side chicks all vying for his attention, she was never really sure where she stood with such guys.
Fian-Cee: Long suffering guys struggling to make ends meet, they would have 'waka, waka, waka' (walked) miles to hand out job applications their shoes well worn as proof, really academically sound though, loyal and faithful as they come, definitely had a very bright future ahead of them and great marriage material (if she could be patient enough to ride the storm with one!)
'Nkechi' probably regretted giving us this gist though as every Monday morning if she made the mistake of mentioning that she had a date over the weekend next question colleagues would be asking was whether it was with a Fian-A, Fian-B or FianCé!!!
Who ever said romance is dead? I wonder which 'Fian...' she eventually settled for!
Personally I'm thinking 'Nkechi's 3 categories of "Fian" are too narrow and we could have a much broader range. Can you folk come up with another category of "Fian"? Male or female.
This should be fun!
On that note Thank God it's Friday, have a great weekend and to the brothers in my homeland, no lame excuses about Valentine being on sabbatical due to the political climate, after all 'they' have 'shifted' Election Day to 28th March and furthermore the lyrics of Uncle Ray Parker Jnr. have summed it up:
'A woman needs love (just like you do), don't kid yourself into thinking that she don't' otherwise as he further croons in the song:
"One day you'll come home, early from work.."(wen u open door, the ting your eye go see, na u sabi!!!)
And to all the Johnny's out there (Yemi Alade's music video 'Johnny' https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C_XkTKoDI18 ) who rather than make a choice between ogbono soup or egusi opt to mix the two together by leaving their babe to follow Cynthia, at the same time giving Uche 'belè' while promising marriage to Nene, we are all watching you in 3-D!!
I write what I like ~ Steve Biko
17 comments:
This post is so sexist. I have my own category for the ladies, Fian-G for all those GREEDY opportunistic girls out there that pretend to love you but only interested in your pocket size.
Fine boy Jonny
Lol. Fine Boy Jonny, you are bang out of order :)
Indeed love is in the air! In my younger years I lived on Mills and Boon and listened to the right Music! Experience is the best teacher sha! Girls, there is no harm in treating our men to what we wish for ourselves. Life is for the living! Happy Valentine!! BMW
One word Maybe two, MILLS AND BOON! Ruined my enemy's life.
In the real world, I found no Lairds and no Counts, just Fian-N, a nobody, insolvent, broke_ass!
I'm ever optimistic though, that somewhere out there is a Fian-M , malleable and can be moulded appropriately, has been touched by Fian-G so appreciative of a good thing.
Hopefully he is desperate for Fian-W, who is fit, fun and functional (albeit not yellow in colour)
Not advertising........... just putting it out there
I
By the way, forgot to state
I am partial to Teddy Pendergrass
I am distraught at the postponement of the Niger elections. I had thought I was going to escape from the several promises....of if not for the election, I would have shut down the city of Lagos.
Risi, right on the money. The men want to have their cake and eat it. Also we women built castles in the air when it came to the idea of romance. Where are they? Tall, dark and handsome with money to spend. Ha. Anyway to all the babes and boos out there, have a great Valentine and don't be stingy. What is good for the goose, is good for the gander.
Now Ola, can you email me someone to spend the season with from Oyinbo land? It will be greatly appreciated. Tola
We all know VALENTINE 'S DAY is commercially hyped. The stores , artists, cinema's etc want to make a profit on other people's misery of so called LOVE. Let's ask ourselves; what is it that we thirst for; yearn !!! that makes us spin into the oblivion when this seems to be seasonal love. Its once a year ke. Marketers' , sellers all make money but buyers will lose some few quid tomorrow. .lol.. I don't want any FianA, FianB , C to Z; just let me be a kept woman. Lobatan. Yemi (Esther)
Having said all that, I am also partial to Teddy Pendergrass, Lionel Richie, late Michael Jackson, Stevie Wonder to name a few. In my homeland, OLOMI ONITEMI BY Tosin Martins, etc... Yemi
Fine boy jonny I beg, pls add another G to that you Fian-G, making it Fian-GG for all the Gold-digger& greedy girls out there.
A follower.
Happy Valentine to all men & women and boys & girls out there wishing to celebrate it. In my younger days I used to dislike Valentine days because you'ld have to go through all the palava of making it worth it (buying the cards, flowers, going out for meals in posh restaurants, etc). But nowadays, I so much love it because I don't have to look back and wonder what & why I spent so much money. All I do nowadays is that I go to the shops and instead of buying flowers I buy "ugwu" or "spinach" or "efo igbo" plus "panla" & dried "ede" & "brokoto", etc and bring them back home. My lovely wife is very understanding as she will then cook these lovely meals for Valentine day. But if I fail to buy these cooking ingredients, she would be expecting the cards, flowers & the journey to the posh restaurant. I am only preaching what I practice o......Demola
One thing l know, whether Fian-A, Fia-B, Fian-C or Fian-Whatever; we all are seeking happiness in our relationship. Therefore, we should not allow others to define our lives. Our happiness is dependent upon ourselves. We must make our own life our own no matter what others say about it. Be who you are. Do what you think is best for you However in seeking happiness try not to hurt others, because whatever you sow you will reap. May we all find happiness. Everybody deserve to be happy. Happy Valentine's Day FTA
Love means different things to different people, and my comment is going to be quite boring . To me love means simply giving of your self to others.
Dee
@ Foluke, I personally think Mills & Boon's novels should come with a caveat that readers’ discretion is advised. Those novels can "dangerously unbalance" their readers minds, as they promote dissatisfaction with real life relationships. Idealising these books is a short and sure way to heartbreaks as they are farther from life, with readers inclined to trade rationality for romanticism.
Readers who believed the story that these novels portray are courting serious trouble as romance it's not in itself a sufficiently strong foundation for maintaining a lifelong relationship. Some of its readers are so clinically addicted that they fail to separate fact from fantasy, so that when it comes to making life decisions, they shy from embracing reality and mirror their lives based on what they read in these novels.
The novels are annoyingly mechanical with the archetypal alpha-male who "conquers" the heroine, both emotionally and physically. This Alpha-male is portrayed in a manner that, in real life, would make many women develop low self-esteem, depression and most likely suffer emotional abuses. Women are treated like pieces of scrap and depicted as a specie of extreme vulnerableness.
My repugnance towards this genre of literature is that it had indefinitely sustained the sexual objectification of women. They are trashy novels that perpetuate gender stereotypes and also full of disguised misogyny. The implication of this is that it leaves some women with depreciated self-worth and make them view themselves as lesser beings.
Valentine day is not my own thing even though I met my husband on a Feb 14.
Alhaja Risi, a Fian Dee will be great. The one who has no money to look after d girl and as a result will run any errand for his girl come rain, come sunshine in order not to lose her to a rich guy.
Mummydun
Ok o I just read this post just now though FD don pass I nor fit resist to coment because I just love the topic.
I go start with Fine Boy Jonny ( FBJ them don bone you before because your vexation for your post strong o. You say the girls na Fian G but that fit still mean GREAT) and for FBJ follower wetin na? you come add G I beg how much these girls take we fit vex pay you back. Even with all they take he nor put dent for your pocket so which one bi this GG
All those girls when born FIne Boy J I dey come for una
As for sese B all those your grammar na school I dey see so as dictionary nor carry am o
Demola you bi true 9ja (woman for kitchen) very romantic I hope say apron dey o? if not next time
But the best is FTA true word ( that is why enjoyment na my portion)
Now it is my turn to talk about All the different FIANS. Me I nor care which fian so far say enjoyment dey I go take all the fians out there. Na me o aKa MOE ( Minister of Enjoyment)
Whao what an interesting article.......Deji.
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