Last week Friday after posting my latest blog, I was on the phone chatting with my friend 'Abeni', some of you may have read about her in a previous post of mine My People Don Reach Here! and picked up on her being somewhat uptight and highly strung!
Anyway she had just read my post and was giving me some constructive feedback, one point led to another and "as per usual" before we knew it we had gone off on a tangent, both of us in hysterics as she jisted me about an incidence that happened some years ago involving her daughter who had been about 5 years old at the time.
And this is how this true life story unfolds,
the nature of 'Abeni's' job sometimes requires her to appear in court as an expert witness for the prosecution. On the day in question while driving her daughter to school 'Abeni' decides to give her a run through her itinerary for the day. She explains to her daughter that she was going to court for a prosecution and then in her usual 'over-do' style takes it a step further by explaining that she is not going to court as a defendant as she has not done anything wrong, that she is not a criminal, 'she's for the prosecution this', 'She's for the prosecution that', that she would definitely be coming home that night as she is not going to jail and that her daughter should not worry, the prosecution are the good guys, blah di blah!
(yes you've read me right, she's going into all this detail for a five year old!!)
Anyway when 'Abeni' returns at the end of the day for the after school pick-up, she is called aside by her daughter's class teacher. Teacher lowers her voice, looking all red-faced, embarrassed and uncomfortable, she explains that 'Abeni' should be more careful about what she says around daughter as all day long the child had been telling everyone at school who cared to listen in playground, assembly, classroom about "The Court Case"
'Abeni' sighs in relief and replies that yes, she had told her daughter about her court case but there was nothing to worry about as she had not breached any confidentiality laws or anything. Teacher says 'I don't think you are 'getting me'. At this point in time 'Abeni' is really irritated, climbs on to her soap box and off she goes "I'm really lost here, what are you on about, 'I'm not getting you' like how?' She's my daughter and I am well within my right to tell her whatever I want to, that's the problem I have with this school so much interference in things that should not concern you, you should all learn to mind your b..", The teacher quickly raises her hand for 'Abeni' to stop, looks my friend straight in the eye and says 'your daughter has been telling everyone about you being in court today for PROSTITUTION!!!
My friend set herself up for that one didn't she? Information overload, too much grammar is not good o, 2000 words when one sentence would do! Those that have ears please take note!
Amazing but plausible isn't it? We really should mind our language, keep it short, sharp and simple.
And while we're on the subject of language, I had a discussion with my sis-in-law recently she was reminiscing her teenage years and wondering what's the problem with Naija parents and all their drama, philosophies, proverbs and idiomatic expressions. One particular over-flogged, favourite Yoruba adage her parents used anytime she told a lie was:
Omo ton pa iro,
a jale,
a tun d'oko
In English,(my version anyway!) this translates:
A child that lies,
will steal,
And will also become promiscuous.
(I'm smiling as I write, as the Yoruba version reads a bit more graphic!)
She wondered, who sat down and "formulated" such a proverb?
Possibly an old man in the village, like 200 years ago, sitting on a wooden bench under an agbalumo tree, one bright sunny afternoon, ankara tied 'okoro' style, (i.e. wrapped around the body, the 2 ends of the fabric criss crossed around the neck then tied at the back) chewing bitter kola while sipping palm wine and feeling particularly wise, inspirational and Shakespearean!
Her points were firstly the inappropriate nature of the words 'promiscuous' and 'child' being used together, secondly the sexism entrenched within the proverb as it targets specifically females and thirdly, what had telling a lie as a child got to do with stealing and then later in life progressing to promiscuity??
We concluded that the proverb was a fallacy, utter cr*p, with no validity whatsoever and for argument sake even if the proverb had been arranged in reverse order i.e.
"A promiscuous child will steal and also lie" it was still flawed as, fair enough promiscuity could possibly lead to lies being told to hide the behaviour, but did that necessarily mean that they would later 'graduate' to becoming a thief?
Such proverbs are handed down verbally from generation to generation. Our people have loads of them and I must admit most are logical, well thought out and add colour and richness to the language.
A favourite saying of my mum's was "I'm your mother and I can never mislead you, if I ask you to put your hand in fire it will not burn you!"
Like seriously mum!!!
Bet you guys know a few!
Thank God it's Friday, enjoy the rest of the weekend (and as one farewell greeting goes "Don't fight o")
The secret of being a bore is to tell everything ~ Voltaire
30 comments:
My dear mama will always drum in my ears:
“Alagemo ti bi omo e, to ba wun ko jo, to ba wun ko ma jo.”
“Alagemo ti bi omo e, to ba wun ko jo, to ba wun ko ma jo.”
meaning the masquerade (an iJebu Masquerade) has given birth to a child , so it is up to the child to dance or not dance. However literally it means that “I have adviced you, so it is up to you to take the advice or reject it.
Alatenumo Xavi
In my opinion best naija proverb ever is Okafors law which says if a guy has shined a 'coconut' once, as long as he 'shined' the coconut well- well first time around. He will always be welcomed back by the coconut to shine it again no matter the situation!
My mum bless her is full of funny sayings , never really used proverbs that much as a 'Londoner' but had a lot of funny saying's ... On my brother's goings and comings as teens: see the way they are treating the house like a police station. On meeting the house just a teeny weeny untidy: see my house like Mrr foolish's house.
I don't think this is a proverb but my mum will always say 'olewa pami nitori mi payami' meaning you cannot kill me cos I didn't kill my mother. meanwhile I never knew my grandma cos she died before I was born so in my mind I will reply 'ki lo wa pawon' meaning so what killed her. I never had the nerve to say that out though.
Topsydudu
Seriously!!
Abeni, pls get a life!!
Fine boy Jonny's "Okafors law" may be helpful.
My advice : "revisit the aforementioned(oyinbo repete) "good coconut shiners".
My mum is not an "ngbati ngbati", so she wasn't big on proverbs.
However she had some "ologbo mecca" (far-fetched) type of stories.
e.g
ur breasts get smaller after you have a baby - real meaning your breasts sag after you have a baby.
Labour is not painful, you sleep, wake up and your baby will be by your side - needless to say I had a section!!!!
Can somebody explain FBJ's okafors law, shine coconut like how?
Yoruba proverbs have very deep meaning and should in most cases not be taken literally.
My interpretation of the proverb is that whoever (child or adult) lies is liable to behave negatively either by stealing or being promiscuous. Stealing in this case may be referred to as taking somebody's property illegally, pen robbers, defrauding, kidnapping etc. Promiscuous (for both sex) refers to fornication, adultery and other words that can be used for promiscuity. And like you rightly said, the lies are told to hide the behavior.
Let us look at this proverb: "Bi Dada ko le ja, o ni aburo t'ogboju" meaning If Dada cannot fight, he has a younger sibling.
What if all Dada's younger siblings cannot fight like Dada. I may be wrong, but my interpretation of this proverb is that Dada's courageous younger ones may not necessarily be his/her siblings. "Aburo t'ogboju" (courageous younger sibling)could be younger ones or age mates in his class, office neighbourhood, etc. who is willing and ready to fight for Dada. And if we look at it from the context that Dada's lack of courage to fight could be for other reasons other than lack of physical strength e.g. ignorance, lack of education, lack of money, shyness etc., then Dada's courageous younger one could even be an elderly person who decides to take up Dada's battle because he hates injustice. Also a human right lawyer could be Dada's courageous "aburo" who readily and willingly takes up Dada's matter when Dada needs to redress a case and he doesn't know what to do.
No doubt that was an overload of info for a 5 yrs old but I got be the devil's advocate here and come to Abeni's defense. I think it is difficult for Naija mothers bringing up kids in the western world. Growing up in Naija, whatever was said at home or to you by your parents was never to be repeated. No bi so for our kids! I had a recent experience with my 10 yrs old. She had a volleyball practice on a Sunday afternoon and she was to be dropped off at a friend's place - you know carpooling- (another western invention). Well, I told my daughter to eat your lunch before I drop her. She refused, claiming she wasn't hungry. After shouting, screaming and jumping up and down in frustration, I warned her "you are not to eat at your friend's place. If her mom offers you food, tell her NO, thank you because I don't want her thinking I starved you". I picked my daughter up 4 hours later, and looking very proud of herself, she said to me, I did what you told me to do. What?, I asked. She answered, "Gabby's mom asked me to eat pasta with them and I told her my mom said, I am not allowed to eat in their house because I didn't eat my lunch at home and you don't want her thinking you starved me". Imagine by reaction, a dropped jaw! I tired ooo! Growing up as kids in Nigeria, you don't gist with adults. It was e karo ma and you disappear. Here, kids are encourage to talk - show and tell, sharing your rose and thorn days, guidance counselling, etc. So whether it is prosecution or prostitution, Abeni is free to tell her daughter what she feels like.
My parents' favorite saying - Ranti omo eni ti iwo se. Hope I said that right. Remember whose kid you are.
Na wa oo these children go ko ba person. make dem no call social services oooo
I luv nandos
oddly, i did not see that plot twist coming oh wow, i actually laughed out loud
These kids fit put one in trouble o. On the other hand it must be a challenge for naija kids being raised in this western environment as well. Having to deal with naija mummy's rule of 'what happens in our home stays in there' versus show and tell and their encouraging world of being expressive.
I have a 7yr old that is so naija and gets the 'naija mum's logic' meanwhile my 5yr old just says it as it is including quoting you so the older one and I 'code'things that must not be repeated in school when he's around or wait till he's not paying attention to discuss such matters.
LOL.I agree that the poor girl was glutted with information beyond her age,so she adapted her own version of the story. That is what we call revised version. It was back in the day that whatever was said at home remained at home o, definitely not the Nigerian kids of today, plus the one they heard and the ones they didn't hear from you, na so them go just conjure up anything o. I had taken my 3 year old niece to my church one Sunday and decided to stay in the kid's church because of her. The topic for that day was "Restoring a servant's ear". The story was about Malchus, the servant of the Jewish High Priest, Caiaphas, who participated in the arrest of Jesus and one of the disciples Simon Peter, being armed with a sword, cut off the servant's ear in an attempt to prevent the arrest of Jesus. Jesus thereafter took compassion on him and restored the severed ear. That was how my niece jumped off her seat and frankly told everyone in the class that Jesus used "Super Glue"(a type of adhesive common in Nigeria)to glue the severed ear and that her dad had even showed her in the Bible where the "stick-on" was done. When I recovered from my laughter and shock, I had to put a call to my bro-inlaw to ask "ejo iru Bibeli wo ni eyin ka nile yin o" meaning "please what type of Bible do you read at home". Needless to say he was as shocked as I was.
As for the Yoruba proverbs;my mama na non-native so she didn't do much of them, her strategy was " actions speaks better than proverbs." Proverbs are a well of wisdom from which values are learnt or reaffirmed and improper behaviours are pointed out and decried in ways that make them easy to identify and correct.
My favourites are:
1."Gba were,"Mi o gba were"; lomu ariwo oja ho." "Accept an imputation of imbecility; I will accept no imputation of imbecility" is the explanation for market noise.(One may have no means of avoiding insult from others, but it is always in one's power to reject insult)
2."Emi iwofa, iwo iwofa, o ni baba ni ka gbowo wa; se o ti da tire sile na." "I am a pawn, you are a pawn, and you tell me the creditor sent you to collect his money, have you repaid yours?"( Whoever will correct others should first take care of their own failings)
3."Nilanla lomo abuke nda: o ni Iya,iya, oun o pon." "The humpback's child has presented a formidable dilemma: he cries, "Mother, mother, carry me on your back." (A dependent who demands of one what one cannot provide is intent on setting one up)
4."A ki fi gbese sorun se oso." "One does not carry debt around one's neck and live like a dandy." (One should discharge one's obligations before one indulges in extravagance)
5."Kini apari wa ni iso onigbajamo?" "What does a bald man wants in the stall of a Barber?" (One should stay out of places where one has no business)
I refer "Anonymous" who posted on 2nd Feb and commented on the age range of the readers/commentators on this blog to Fine Boy Jonny's comments on the instant post.
At last there is a juvenille mind on the blog. That should be a welcome relief to you.
I have my reservations about that coconut shining theory (actually it is a saying not a proverb),
Most often, you find that it is better to hold on to the memory of that first shine because if you go back to reshine the coconut, it would have been so dulled over time that you cannot ever get the first shine effect,
Chikena.
By the way, the coconut shining theory is not applicable in all instances as the coconut may not be available to be reshined. The theory is therefore defective and offensive to coconut owners who do not fall under the reshinable category
Ajetheboy, your carefully considered observations about the characteristics of coconut owners is very apt. In the interest of inclusion, I agree that this theory is flawed. Shiny coconuts may be reviled in certain cultures and therefore the theory may be classed as racist. All 5 yr olds, look away now.
Favourite saying...
Son to father upset at him for some wrongdoing : Daddy, if you are not happy, go to your own father's house. Me? I am at mine.
Essex branch of the Risi fanclub
I have serious concerns about Abeni's 5yr old ( and therefore about Abeni). Prostitution has 1 more letter than prosecution.....I know. I counted. Why does a 5yr old know the longer word? Could it be that there is cause for this word to be much utilised in said household? Occupational hazard??????
Omo ton pa iro,
a jale,
a tun d'oko
You meant 'Omo to ba paro, a jale a doko'
My parents were fond of saying, I am talking your talking who born dog!
Dee
Anon 20:25, I beg to differ.
Pros-ti-tu-tion and Pro-se-cu-tion both have 4 syllables.
Another interesting topic this week. Information overload. Abeni and other parents should be mindful of what they say to their children. Children are innocent and very clever. At age five they require very little detail. Less is best. I hope Abeni learnt a valuable lesson. It must have been a very embarrassing situation for Abeni. Ewo, Ise asewo, (prostitution) not in our yard, this leads us to the next hot topic of discussion.
Saying, proverb, adage, however we refer to it, as Africans, we all grew up with it. Random aunties, uncles, friends, Mums and Dads, remind us when we are out of line, with sayings such as, ma pa mi, mi o pay iya mi, ma grandma would mumble under her breath, e ma fi Kiki pa mi, when she is constantly greeted by passers by in her shop. When you are standing, a random passer by will say, e ku iduro, when you are seated, e ku ijoko.
All in all, African culture is rich in sayings/proverbs/adage that reflect what we do on a daily basis.
Ka sun re o, a ji layo ati alafia o. Over to author of the blog to translate.
It's true with our adage. It's part of our culture to throw in certain flawed sayings "proverbs" . Some of them are totally questionable; but be that may , some are of great wisdom. Do you also find that we imitate our parents in readiness to utter the same flawed sayings to either our children or other I. E . People younger than us.
My mum' s favourite saying is " mo le ni ko towo bono" ..though what she is literally saying to me is " I can't mislead you "..
Another saying of hers which to this day sounds ridiculous is " wa gbadun mi to" she rages this when I was out of line. However, the literally meaning is "you will enjoy me"... lol. Seriously how can I enjoy being scolded. Yemi ( Esther )
Mmmmmm interesting, I guess this will be a lesson for your friend to go softly- softly on the big grammar.
We are always told at work to use plain English- simple English.
As for the proverb bit, I will ask my friend Buhari- he is bound to have some interesting Hausa ones!
Hmmmmmm.....Abeni...."ijo ti ko tito ara alagbado jo, ara ghana nbora sile lati jo" You Abeni that can't even speak Yoruba properly, you're now interpreting it. Aiye ti da. Keep practicing, thanks to those correcting you. i like it. 'Oga ni iya muda'.
I tend to agree with the lady who told her daughter what she does. But unfortunately, the pronunciation was missed by the young girl(that is the way I understand it). There are so many people out there that cannot tell their kids what they do. I always make it a point of duty to tell my kids what I do. The teacher could have done better. Kids are kids. I can remember when my daughter was about threes years old and we just bought a new set of leather chairs. My daughter was always jumping on them with her shoes on. One day I told her in Yoruba to stop jumping on them with her shoes on because I have not finished paying for them. She stopped jumping on them with her shoes on (bless her). But when visitors came to our house, my daughter would tell them not to sit on the chairs because "her dad has not finished paying for the chairs". I had to tell her that I have finished paying for the chairs so that she could allow people to sit on them. Kids are kids.
Demola
"Babu laifi, babu tunani - If one does no wrong, there is no regret"
"Amfanin hankali aiki da shi - The value of good sense is making use of it"
Straight from Buhari's mouth!
Our Risi, you have brought up an interesting topic for discussion. The children of today are sharper in picking up sayings around the home and repeating them else where. I have a three year old granddaughter whose vocabulary is beyond her age!
As an eight year old I repeated a conversation I had overheard between my mum and my cousin to the person they were talking about word for word! The woman dashed into our home and repeated what I had said to her. If they denied it and called me a liar! As soon as the woman left, I was given a beating of my life! From that day, I learnt my lesson never, never to repeat things to people in order to avoid being beaten!!!
LOL!!!! I am curious as to how a 5 year old's vocabulary included the word 'Prostitution'?
On the subject of proverbs- something my grandmother used to say to me if
I am struggling with a task 'the people doing the thing you claim you cannot do,how many heads do they have'??? Not sure whether this is a proverb but it still gets me through difficult challenges!!!!
Many of us are learning a lot from this oh, well done jare. Deji.
Aunty Risi,
I will be back,need to get to my sister as i can't remember any proverb from my mum.Perhaps she was too foreign with the Yoruba proverbs;but she did have a saying and that is I'm your mother!,oh yes mum is anyone denying that!I'm your "carbon copy"(Naija peeps can interpret).
I am still laughing hysterically. "Aunty Abeni" (borrowing a leaf from the random aunty post) did it in grand style , now she is an official prostitute etched deeply in the memories of those 5year olds ....lol
Aburo Remi, that's why at this point in time, Abeni is on sabbatical. You will not be reading about her for a while!!
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