Thursday, 7 May 2020

KEEP ON MOVING....


Photo above is me returning to the plantation after 6 weeks locked down in Lagos and 2 weeks in self isolation back in the U.K. In case you're wondering about the ‘plantation’ this is the location in which a currently employed person performs his or her job, and where a usually employed person performs the primary job used to determine his/her other economic characteristics such as occupation, industry, and status in employment. Basically whether you be Oga Pata-Pata (big boss) or a Small Fry at the bottom of the food chain you're all working on a fr***gin Plantation🌽🌽🌽🌽. 

Let's not get it twisted it's like the prisoner and prison warden analogy, one day the prisoner gets released leaving warden behind still grasping his keys πŸ‘€ 

I leave the house with caution, face mask, gloves and sanitizer, the jamb question was whether I should take the car for a 10 minute drive or a 40 minute walk as I have the luxury of working near my home. I decide to walk, how long I’ll keep this up for though I don't know. This necessitates use of headphones for music to make my walk more interesting and a comfortable pair of trainers. I had received a call previous day asking whether I had presented any COVID-19 symptoms during my 14 day isolation πŸ™„ and then given an overview of changes that have taken place at the plantation in my absence. It's explained to me that adherence to Social Distancing was of utmost importance and that I may wish to spend my few days catching up on guidance and new protocols. πŸ€“
Dress code has been relaxed as there is currently no direct interaction with members of the public so I can wear whatever. However on my 1st day back a filming crew from ITV were expected at the plantation so we’re advised to dress smart. πŸŽ¬πŸ“½πŸ“Έ

As I start to waka my waka, (walk my walk) for the first time I'm actually taking in the scenery, BC (Before COVID-19) I would have reached plantation unaware of my surroundings and not knowing how I got there, I think this is known as‘Unconscious Competence’ as opposed to ‘Mindfulness’. But here I am strolling casually looking around, sun is shining, birds are chirping, leaves on the trees are a vivid green, the paths and cycling tracks are relatively empty because we’re still in lockdown and are only expected to be out and about under four circumstances.

I'm thinking about the camera crew that will be on the plantation and my colleagues who I have not seen in 8 weeks. I'm wondering whether SD will really be observed. With this a forethought I whip out my face mask and hook the elastic around one ear but leave the mask dangling at side of my head, in case I need it as a quick barrier for someone getting too close. As I approach I start to feel somewhat apprehensive as it has been a while. Once I step inside however it's business as usual, colleagues are all spaced, waving flags, clapping as I make my regal entrance, there are rose petals on the floors leading up to my desk, balloons up, my desk is decorated with ribbons……..if you believed this you'll believe anything πŸ™„

We’re expecting the film crew in an hour’s time, vain me is concerned as rumour has it that film footage can add about 10 pounds to how one looks on TV, I'm now regretting all those Tastee’s Meatpies I ate in Lagos 😩. My bubble is however burst when I’m told those selected to be interviewed by the TV station had been agreed the day before my return to work😒. I'm rather upset and have a bit of melt down throwing my toys out the pram as I feel my evacuation from Lagos story would have been more newsworthy. I'm told ‘Ola it’s actually about The Plantation and not you for a change’ so I calm down, it's their loss anyway after all I’m sure my future grandchildren will never tire of grandma’s tale of her COVID-19 evacuation from Lagos arranged by HRH Mama Charlie πŸ‘‘ 😐
Greetings From A Social Distance.

I get through my first day. Feels great to be making a difference to people lives with services provided at the plantation. The return journey home though…..how I wish I had brought the car but no way am I riding on the bus, so I start my snail speed walk home.

Next day I watch our colleagues interviews on the ITV News feed online, it’s amazing to see the final clip in view of all the effort and prep that went into the filming. The interviewer is Libby Weiner, a political correspondent with ITV. Our colleagues did a brilliant job fielding her questions thoughπŸ‘πŸΎπŸ‘πŸΎ. I feel our work has come off rather well on TV.

I have been asked by a few concerned citizens whether my return to work is the safest option and my take on this is the proverbial ‘It is what it is’! I’ve not covered the whole team Team ‘Work From Home Vs Working at Office’ debate but times have changed, WFH may be the way forward for some people, we’ve gone digital, COVID -19 has forced last of the dinosaurs to change their ways and ‘Get With The Programme’. Some places are not even accepting cash payments anymore.


‘Las-Las’ at some point we’ll have to get moving again as THIS is not going anywhere soon! There is no room for Coronaphobia and whether we like it or not, we WILL be adapting our lifestyles. The Government have already moved the goalpost and plan to ditch the phrase ‘Stay At Home’ for 'Stay Alert’πŸ€”

Furthermore the government have been so embarrassed by the actions of The Imperial College Scientist, Prof Neil Ferguson, in case you don't know this ‘unku’ was the one who advised them that UK would see 500,000 Corona Virus deaths if mass isolation did not occur. It was based on his advise that Lockdown was implemented. Unfortunately it has come to light that on 2 occasions when ‘konji’ was catching him, he arranged for his married mistress to travel across London to see him 😳thereby flouting the rules. Basically ‘Bros’ has not practicing what he had preachedπŸ€”

I’m waiting to see how the new COVID-19 App being trialed in Isle of Wight will help in this warfare pending the time a vaccination is rolled out and to hear what Baba Wilfred, Boris J, has to say on Sunday about easement of lockdown. On that note it's a bye for now πŸ™‹πŸΎ

How is your lockdown going?


Make I chop this guy money, Make I chop this guy money……Na so ashawo take start πŸ‘€ ~ Pidgin English Proverb 


πŸ’…πŸΎ

14 comments:

  1. Nice 1, ola. You cracked me up with 'Konji'🀣. Never heard it before.

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  2. Risi looking good on the plantation. Welcome back.

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  3. Belle of the Ball7 May 2020 at 19:58

    Feeling the “Mojo”... Indeed, life can’t go back to what it was before; looking forward to the New Normal and praying God keeps us through it all.

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  4. Rose petals??πŸ™„
    Do we get to see your silhouette on ITV?
    Painful to admit but hair on fleek by the way 😐

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  5. Hmmm, it would have been nice to see you on ITV. I have enjoyed your last three blogs. Keep it up and hope to catch up soon at Burger King, Corvid-19 permitting. Hugs.

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  6. Am laughing at the review of the plantation πŸ˜€.. Say no more Ola... I can imagine you rolling your eyes when you realised you will not be taking part in their slogan interview. I trust you would have given them the low down so eloquently.
    Where did you get the terminology Konji from?🀣🀣.. this brought so much laughter to my wide eyes πŸ˜€. Anyway, the weather is manageable right now to enjoy your 40 mins walk up and down memory lane to the plantation. We are cognisant of the plantation.. you know what I mean😜.
    Stay safe girlfriend πŸ‘πŸ½πŸ‘πŸ½. Wonderfully written blog as always 😘


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  7. @Unknown, 7 May 18:03
    'Wehdone' first to comment πŸ‘πŸΎ
    Likewise, my eyes literally watered the first time the word was explained to me 😳

    @Unknown 7 May 18:25
    Thanks it's good to be back.

    @'Our' Belle Of The Ball 7 May 19:58
    Amen to that, His Grace will see us through πŸ™πŸΎ

    @KennySho 7 May 21:10
    'Pepper dem Kenny' Was that a compliment you hid there? Hope it didn't hurt too much? πŸ˜‚

    @Beatrice, 8 May 00:02
    And there I was pretending to live a healthy Keto friendly lifestyle, I can see what you've cleverly done there 😩
    With auntie's like you....
    Safe social distant hugs to you too πŸ€—<<<<<<<>>>>>>πŸ€—

    @Esther Akingbade-Olatunji, 8 May 00:13
    My co-plantation associate you know the script too well!
    Thanks for appreciating my distress at being 'passed over' and deprived of my 5 minutes fame😒
    Interesting to see the 'Konji' word did it for you too πŸ˜πŸ˜‡

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  8. Return to work ke, Not sure for now, cases on the rise in 9ja. I understand awa taxi drivers now have masks hanging on their rear view mirror. Once you board you are given one and its returned to the driver when you alight. My cook went to the market and decided to pay for a row of seats in a danfo..
    Nice one Olly.

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  9. I was actually caught up with your welcoming at work and then saw your "If you believe this you will believe anything"
    Hey πŸ™†πŸΎ
    I would love to hear your evacuation story....

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  10. Risky, looking like worth taking the risk for😘
    All pun intended πŸ’…πŸΎπŸ’ƒπŸΎ

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  11. Nice one Ola. I like your description of the Plantation, where it is the warden that gets left behind. Reminds me of Asa’s classic work - JAILER.

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  12. Nice one with a lot of Naija blend.
    Happy to note that your isolation was uneventful and that you have been able to return to work and also reunite with the family.

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  13. Nice one sis. Our world has changed. Before this year terms like COVID, Social distance, lockdown, furlough were alient to me.

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  14. Nikky Africana18 May 2020 at 15:41

    As usual you always make it real and keep us entertained.

    l pray for an end to COVID - 19. l'm a bit sad this week as we lost a Mum to COVID -19 and she only had one daughter who is 11 and in the same class as my daughter.

    l would like a bit more freedom even though Boris says we can meet one friend outside the house this week, it will be easier when the coffee shops open and you can sit down and gist with your friends.
    Nice blog Ola hope to read from you soon.

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