Hello this is another first!
I actually have NOTHING to talk about this week. A few months back, after stressing myself out over one particular blog, my daughter, T-Money aka T-Dawg (she's now gonna pull the plug on this post!) made me promise that I would always keep it fun and that I'm never to blog just for the sake of it.
Each week after I publish a post on the Friday, panic sets in as I'm usually convinced that I'll have nothing to blog about for the following week! However I find by Sunday one seed or the other would have germinated within me, it starts to grow through out the week and the finished goods are what you guys see here on the Friday.
Last week's I Believe The Children Are Our Future... Post was initially written for reflection purposes only and those of you that know I publish at 12:00am on a Friday may have noticed that I disabled comments section on the first edition of that post as my attitude initially had been that I care not about readers' view on the matter, all I wanted was to get The message out there and for people to read, digest, reflect and regurgitate!
It was when I woke up early hours of that Friday morning to read a mini rant on my phone from both 'Abeni' and Iya Ibeji about; Who was I to decide that readers could not comment on such an emotionally charged issue?
Abeni said it was her fundamental human right, I was at risk of isolating readers and that I was encroaching on her freedom of Speech by not giving her the option to comment, (Oyinbo repètè!) And that after all she's always taken time out to comment on all my other cr*p posts and now that I've finally written my first good one, I wanted to pull the carpet from under her feet!! (Thanks Abeni for that "sensitive" confidence boost, remind me that I owe you!!)
Iya Ibeji went as far to ask me, "What The 'Flower' Ola?? where do you expect me to comment? On my 'bleep-bleep' head or where?"
And as I was engaged in this war of words via text with both strong-willed ladies, my daughter wades into the matter and asks what's going on. I explained to her, at this time she had not read the post but I gave her a quick summary of the subject matter. She said "Mummy you've gotta let people have their say" that swung it for me and with 'immediate effect and automatic alacrity' I quickly enabled the comments section and re-published before most of you had woken from your 'much needed' beauty sleep!
I must say one of the advantages of writing that post with the fore thought that there would be no comments section and something I had discussed with my friend "Mama Arinze!" was that I found I wrote freely and without hesitation. If care not taken, you often find when writing that you are skirting around edges, wanting to please your audience, not upset the apple cart nor offend people. So there goes!
In other 'important' matters arising at the top of this post is a pic of my henna tattoo on hand. It's temporary and unfortunately will eventually fade away, my cousin saw pic and said "this picture is too suggestive" and that I should remove it!!! And I asked "Suggestive like how? Why?"
Mind you he is "that" sort of person, show him a picture of a jam sandwich and he'll surely find some way to sexualize it!! His poor wife. (Egbon, you know yourself, I hope you are thoroughly embarrased and cringing as you read this!).
And while we're on the topic of tattoos, a friend was giving me a true story about completing her studies in Naija and coming over here to take up employment. On a visit from Naija, her mum came to stay with her and my friend forgot herself and changed her blouse in front of her mother, next thing 'mammi' throws off her head tie, collapses to the floor, pulls at her hair, crying and saying her life is finished!
"Mammi kilode (what's wrong)?"
The Mammi says "Ahhhh see tattoo on your body (this tattoo is on my friend's lower back!) who is now going to marry you? See how you have disfigured yourself? It's only "ashewo" (promiscuous person) that has tattoo, how will I explain this to your father!"
Like seriously Mammi? (insert 'rolling eyes' emoticon) It's funny how they love drama, If we wanted to 'Sugar-gate', 'Maggi-size' or 'Salt'ify this tale to make it more interesting we would start throwing a few questions at 'Mammi' like:
"errm Mammi, what has having a tattoo on my back got to do with deterring me from finding a future husband?"
Or
Errm...Mammi why are you even assuming I want to get married in the first place? (at which point Mammi faints!!)
Or
Ermm...Mammi, what makes you think I'm not in a relationship already?? You know that my roommate Anita, well she and I.....(Mammi faints again!)
Or
"Errmm...Mammi, what link has a tattoo got to being an 'ashewo'?
Or
"Errmm...Mammi, why all this drama over a simple tattoo? Wait till you see my two piercings (as she raises front of her blouse slowly over her chest.....(insert 'hand-cover-eyes' emoticon!)
The same friend's husband recently turned 50 and guess what he got himself as a birthday pressie?? Wait for this......drum roll......a sleeve tattoo!!!, for those that don't know; a sleeve tattoo is a collection of smaller tattoos that cover most or all of a person's arm, usually from shoulder to wrist!
Yes Ooo, Naija man!
I wonder if he had got that tattoo as a bachelor whether his mother would have said this makes him an "ashewo" and less marketable as husband? (just saying!)
We eventually had some sunshine over the Bank Holiday and I went to a barbeque on Monday, met a bunch of nice people and one lady there really liked my henna design, she was oohing and awwing over it (As I often do when I like something!) she said she'd like to get one done. She then grabs my wrist and raises my hand to show a lady seated besides her and asked didn't she think it was nice as well. This 'lady' took one look at my hand, turned up her nose, squeezes her face in disgust and says 'No I don't like it at all, I think it makes your hand look really filthy'!!!
Gulp!! How's that for honesty?
How do you think I responded to her comment?
Did I even respond at all?
And how would you respond to such a blatant comment?
Oh dear I said I had nothing to talk about, but see the length of this post, me a person of few words babbling on about 'nothing'!
I've recently been told that I really go off on a tangent when I'm jisting and that one story tends to join another "ati be be lo" (and so on and so forth!) so you know what? At this point in time it's a wrap guys, let's thank God it's Friday and have a great weekend.
Outcome of yesterday's election this side of the pond, could very much determine whether or not we need to buy our 'Ghana-Must-Go' bags!
Oh yeah, thanks for your custom, this is my 20th post!!!
There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed ~ Ernest Hemingway
26 comments:
Yippee!!
Yes I am jobless and sad enough to be awake at this hour. I'm watching the alternative election - the results, very funny!
I now understand and enjoy the dry British humour.
Nigel Farage, take note!
I ain't buying any GMG's!
Me thinks: the henna phobia is mostly Yoruba's being judgemental of things they don't know about. In my mother's humble Kogi village henna is pretty normal.
I had a belly piercing and wore "jigida" (waist beads) a few years ago, I loved it and my nieces thought I was the coolest AUNTY ever!
My Mum actually brought me the "jigida" from Nigeria but the piercing she was appalled with.
Election results are out am now on my way Dalston to buy Ghana must go as they have buy-one-get-one -free offer there.
Foluke more importantly kindly send foto of belly piecing and your jigida so we can evaluate whether your mummy really had cause for concern.
Last week topic was too deep for me could not even bring myself to comment though I read and reread peoples comments through out the week with interest
This topic is more frivolous and up my street! Nice shoes Risikat are they black or white, white and black or black/white or multicolour am genuinely curious.
Blog commentators did you vote at all? The posh boys are back, prepare for a bumpy ride.
Congrats on your 20th post. More blezzin'
Interesting post RBN.
I'd like to thank you for giving me five more years. In five years time hopefully, Britain will be a black free zone. So pack up your bags and get out of here.
RBN .... So you tell 'untruths' , abi it is maths 'what' is your problem? You have written 19 blogs because I wrote 1. You must dig out your Lacombe maths book or use mine anytime .... Mine is still new! Infact any maths book in my possession always remained new. I wonder why? The possibilities are endless.
IYA IBEJI!!!!!
SCOREBOARD READS:
RISI 19 - 1 IYA IBEJI
AS I FLICK HAIR AND WALK AWAY!
Iya Ibeji, technically RBN is 100% correct. As the owner of the blog, she gets credit for all posts on the blog.
RBN, I think you'll find, it's Iya beji 1: 0 RBN . She get you there. You forgot to credit her for her blog. Or you are trying to reap where you did not sow. Which one?
Oga or madam anonymous sebi Iya beji has been acknowledge by blog owner after she did her post like how many weeks ago? So now must hold everybody to ransom till when?
A beg let her go and write 19 of her own blogs before we debate this matter.
Some of us need to sleep for a thousand years.
Mammi is just like most drama queen mums( or dads sometimes) when they see something that's unfamiliar . Reminds me of the drama my dad did when he saw me wearing anklet as a young graduate. To rev the drama up; he told me it's only prostituites that wear anklets.
Iya Ibeji, you have got enough credit to you for your guest blog, did you not read the fine prints that all articles are the property of Risibyname blog. What else do you want;after all you broke the record on the blog for the highest no. of comments on any of the 20 posts and you made Oyinade write just a sentence( two incredible achievements!)
Wow! I'm totally amazed ... Peeps, some of you need to take a chill pill... What I wrote was a joke ... Bet some of you not so sensitive ones knew that! I wasn't asking for acknowledgment or credit ... That ship has sailed. There was no mention of that ! As for own ship of the blog .... Won't even go there! Lighten up guys! Take a chill pill! Grow a sense of fun .... Have a laugh.! On me for free! As my boys say " it's jokes men, loosen up! Love ya guys!!
Well done Iya ibeji! You've surprised me! Thought you were gonna go AWOL!! You go gal!
I agree with Iya Ibeji. Ya'll will benefit from a chill-pill about now!
There is no situation here.
"Oloku ni ohun o se oku, eyin abanise fe jè gbese èran oke mejò"
È take time yin o
Ma kan yò si yin bi òjò!
#fine boy Jonny: it is true a photograph tells a thousand stories.
#foluke photo! Photo!photo!
Hmmmmm.......
Firstly, I agree with Iya Ibeji 100%. Risi Risi, whenever you count your eggs please make sure you label them correctly for analytical purposes so as for us to know which bird laid which egg.
I am a complete lover of nature and that was why I made my stance very clear to you about tattoos.
It will be fantastically nice if we can see those pictures of the beads and piercings (not just on the belly alone).......Eagerly waiting to see them ooooooo
Dear Albanese Avenue aka Rruge
Your divisive guerilla tactics in attempting to exclude us non-Yoruba speakers is hereby violently rejected. Please translate. We are great fans of your postings and at this precise moment, we yearn to swim in the pool of your wise words. Oblige!!!!!!!
The non-Yoruba-speaking Anonymous
#anonymous @ 5.31pm.
No mind me jo (please) my ngbati ngbati took over.
Crude Translation
the bereaved says I don't want to do a big funeral party, the mourners promptly take out a huge loan to finance the big funeral party.
Take your time people or else I'll reveal myself as clear as day!
Actually, I prouder of the translation than the original text.
Morin my people.
In my randomness yesterday, I forgot the subject matter.
RBN, how I wish I was yellow in color so I can be shearing the same hobbies with you, like cashing fun, tattoo, piercing and henna.
I must rub "POMADE" to remedy my situation.
I was highly amused about the mother's reaction to the tattoo, but not at all surprised! I am one of five kids and three of my siblings have gathered a string of tattoos on various parts of their bodies (one went as far as a belly piecing!) They would NEVER openly display these markings to my mother. It is just not worth the hassle - she is total old school.
This was how she was brought up. I remember back in Nigeria, whenever we went back to the village for Christmas or suchlike, if my mother wears a trouser suit to go out - knowing my grandmother disapproved of females wearing trousers, she would send either me
or my brother to make sure the coast is clear to enable her to sneak out. The same process was repeated on returning home. These attitudes are hard to change.
On another note - apologies for not posting last week. I like 'New Anonymous 7.00' just could not find the words!
When my adult children all got tattoos I cried for weeks. What would my Nigerian Christian friends think and my mother! !But I have come to realise that they are still the same kind, warm and loving people. Dee
Congratulations on your 20th post. Yes 20 not 19. Iya Ibeji, please note. You have done so well and I commend you. Your blog is not a typical one. Your blog deals with serious day to day issues that we can all relate to and identify with.
I am sure that we all enjoy the weekly feed back and certainly, I have learned one or two lessons that I may not have had the opportunity to if not for this medium.
Here we are again. It goes like this, "I actually have nothing to talk about this week". But RBN said so much. All well and good. That is why we keep coming back every week.
I agree with Iya Ibeji and Abeni that the option should always be there for anyone who wishes to air their views, it would be unfair for you to make that decision for your readers. Don't take their right away from them. I am glad that daughter intervened. Bless her.
Our parents tend to associate things like henna or tattoo, ankle chain, piercings, locks, as unacceptable, abomination (ewo). However henna is part of the Northern Nigerian culture. Our parents feel that If you are from a 'good home' you should not be seen with these.
I am a fan of henna and ankle chain. I would normally have henna for an occasion or as a holiday treat. I am not a fan of piercings for obvious reasons.
In this day and age, I don't think that having henna or tattoo or ankle chair should be a bad reflection on your person or home you come from, things are changing and we should move with the good times. On the contrary I feel these should enhance your chances of attracting the opposite sex or your like.
Our parents mean well and their concerns come from a good place. The Onus is on us to educate them and continue to remind them that life is evolving and we have to move on.
Same apply to us as parents. We should relax and learn to turn a blind eye to some of the things that our children do or wear or say as long as they are within reason and as long as they are not exposing themselves in any way or putting themselves at risk.
I feel it is disrespectful for anyone to react in the manner in which the lady did, especially since you are not friends. If she didn't like your tattoo, she did have to react in that manner, she just needed to keep her peace. Manners, some people can't seem to remember what it means or the leave them behind.
On a good note, when are we going to have some light hearted subject to talk about. I think we need to take a break from these serious topics and go the 'naija blog' mode. Like your latest designer bag, visit to Harrods and Selfridges, lunch at Claridges, latest car you acquired, latest Otunba in town, next shopping trip to America, next party you are hosting, what will be on the menu, small chops, Chinese, etc. this will be fun.
See you next week.
I
# Anonymous 11:11
I agree with you for one week ONLY lets have one of those crazy niger style show-off blogs. With photo of RBN in maybe her favourite dress or sitting on her car, followed by like 20 photos from different angles.
I wonder what that reaction of the RBN commentators would be funny lol
Such blogs are all about me me me me me me me and lack substance.
I once decided to plait my hair so that it looked like dreadlocks. I was en-route to obodo oyinbo and got stopped at MM airport by a customs officer. She said it was people like me that carried drugs. She then called one of her colleagues 'Come and see this one. See her hair' The guy came over not knowing why she had stopped me and said 'Madam where you do your hair make I tell my wife make she go do am'.
Congrats on your 20th blog. How time flies.
Once upon a time I wanted dreadlocks. I really wish I had. I wanted to pierce my nose . My ears were pierced twice. So why didn't i? I wanted a tattoo too. Not exactly a full sleeve. I didn't! I wanted a gold tooth. I didn't get that either. Main reason: what would people say? What would people think? Now I know better, YOLO yep, you only have one life to live. Live for yourself and not for other people. Our children are much smarter they don't live their lives for anyone! They want something; they go for it! And the rest of us can do ourselves a big favour by being less judgemental!
Congratulations Sis Risi. You have done well.
I recall my own shock when my sixteen year old daughter went and got a tattoo of three Japanese flowers in memory of three people who were dear to her and had died pre-maturely. The tattoo was right at her back where everyone would see it.
I screamed and posed so many questions: what will your dad say? Is it permanent? Etc., etc.
It took me a few years to bring the topic up with her dad. I explained the reasons for her doing it. To my surprise my husband was cool about it and even joked that if she had waited a little bit longer, she could have added another flower in memory of her grannie! Just imagine after all the sleep less nights I had worrying about telling my husband and he showed me times are really changing!
Congrats on your 20th post
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