LETTER TO UNCLE: YISA SULEIMAN-OBA 1950 - 2014

      

                                                                 Yisa  Suleiman-Oba (YSO)

Most people who know me would have heard about one 'Aunty Eni'. She's a dear friend of mine and sadly a year to date herself and children went through a very traumatic experience, they lost a much loved Father, Grandfather; her husband Yisa Suleiman-Oba (Y.S.O.) after a battle with Prostrate Cancer. 

Words cannot possibly describe what she and the family would have gone through. 

They however will be eternally grateful to a number of organisations that provided support to Aunty Eni in caring for uncle such as the NHS, including the out-of-hours service, the District nurses, Macmillian Nurses and The Peace Hospice in Watford. They also thank friends and family members that selflessly supported them.

Aunty Eni and family are currently in Nigeria to mark the 1st year remembrance. 

Last year for the 40th day Fidau Prayer, a few of us wrote tributes that were published in memory of Uncle. This was my first time ever of writing for 'the public'. Having spoken with Aunty Eni I have her go ahead to share mine with you on the anniversary. 

Uncle, Rest in perfect peace.

THE BEGINNING:

Aunty Eni has just asked me to write a tribute to you and in her usual style has given me such limited time as it needs to be sent to the printers and she wants it done by yesterday!! I've asked her to take a chill pill and assured her this will be a easy task for me, as when you love someone the words come naturally and require minimum effort. 

My relationship with you started out as you being the 'Mysterious Naija-based husband' of my dear friend/ colleague. I had felt no urgency in meeting you as I imagined it would be one of those boring obligatory superficial greetings of 'Awon daddy' peeping from above a newspaper nodding his head at me and saying 'pele my dear'. However when you did travel to Borehamwood I came to meet my fav aunt's husband, lo and behold there sat this fit, bespectacled, distinguished gent with curly hair with specks of grey standing up to say hi to me with a twinkle in his eye!! I thought 'wow my aunt surely backed a winner here!!'

And that marked the start of that "Naija-based hubby of friend" title being swapped with 'uncle'

THE FUN SIDE:

Sorry to say this uncle but you do know Aunty Eni can be such a prude and rather old fashioned in her thoughts at times! I made the mistake of assuming same about you. I love to tease her and wind her up to stir and prompt a reaction from her, she never wanted me to do that with you, I'd come visiting and she would force me to stay in the kitchen with her rather than sit down with you in case I made an inappropriate comment.

So I was surprised one day when I came visiting wearing some fake eyelashes I was experimenting with, they were ever so long and thick and immediately I could tell Aunty Eni was not too keen, you however greeted me as usual and gave nothing away. Later on in the kitchen aunty Eni whispered to me that you had said to her 'na wa for these Ola's eyelashes'. Armed with this info I came back to sit with you and asked you what did you think of fake eyelashes and whether you would allow Aunty Eni to wear!!

You chuckled in your usual manner and said you had no problems in her wearing them but you were sure she would not fix them properly and that you would most likely end up picking them out of your eba, egusi, rice and things!!

That was the fun side of you that we loved, you would always quickly return to sender when it came banter. 

Another incident comes to mind, Aunty Eni visiting Naija and forgetting to unlock her phone, so she decides to add me as a blackberry contact on YOUR phone uncle, why she would do this I really don't know! And in typical fashion she forgets to tell you she has done this, you really should have locked your phone uncle!! 

Anyway next thing you receive my Blackberry contact details on your phone! You are perplexed to see the name 'RISI BY NAME, RISKY BY NATURE' pop up on your screen. You shout to aunty that these 419 people have come again o, as there is one 'Risky Risi' contact on your phone, she then has to cringe and explain those were actually my contact details.  That's how you started to engage me in bbm chat, however uncle you were no match to my typing speed of 1000 words per minute, so you eventually gave up and called Aunty Eni to take over. That was the uncle I knew. You did at a later date ask me for the 'inspiration' behind my BBM name and I explained that RISI was taking me back to my Muslim roots and the RISKY BY NATURE was merely a play on words and a pun!! You accepted this and from then on 'Risky' became your nickname for me. 

THE DEEP SIDE:

Now we get to the stuff you did that really counted and moved you further up that my 'uncle' pedestal. 

March 2009 I received call from Naija from my dad early hours of the morn, my mum had passed! I'm on the phone straight to Aunty Eni, it's 4am you are besides her, I'm crying & screaming on the phone, you take phone from her, you calm me down, you ask me not to scare my kids at this time of the night. 8 days later I'm in my hometown Ijebu arranging 8th day prayers and you and aunty coincidentally happen to be in Naija at that time as well, so you both attend. I was amazed and overwhelmed that you took time out to support me, I recall serving you an Ijebu delicacy called 'ibiripo' which you liked. By this time you are a fully instated uncle with bragging rights in my books. 

The love, compassion and kindness you have shown me knows no bounds. You embraced my family, siblings, maintained tabs with my Naija based hubby, made sure you invited him to all your house parties even though I am in the UK. First I would hear of these gatherings would be by phone call from Toyosi to Aunty Eni with Bob Marley or Fela blasting in the background, jisting her that 'mummy, you really need to see daddy and his croonies, dancing to Bob Marley' sorry Toyosi I just had to tell this tale!!

Thanks for your thoughtful words on matters concerning me that Aunty Eni would have confided in you, you were always so diplomatic but I knew aunty would have told you 'Risky is not taking my advise on this matter o, maybe you could have a word'

Uncle I could go on and on with different stories of how you touch my life but I'll stop here as I don't want to bore everyone, I just want people to know this side of you I was privy to. 

We went through those motions from 16th July in a trance but you had done the most meaningful prior to that period. 

YOLO (You Only Live Once) and Uncle you did that ever so well and left your legacy. 

We pray that Aunty Eni, Nadia & Femi, Toyosi & Yakubu, little Nana, Tayo and Sherrif see the rainbow behind these clouds. 

Adio Uncle. 

Ola Oluwole aka 'Risky'

                         Risi's running kit for Cancer Research UK, 5K Race For Life 2013

Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal ~ Unknown