BIG BROTHER'S WATCHING US!

                    

                  

                      

I went shopping the other day and as I was walking back to the car, I noticed the driver's side had been "keyed". 

For the sake of clarity "Car Keying" is the act of intentionally scraping the sharper point of an object, usually a key though, across the windshield or door of a car, leaving a large long scratch in the paint and a costly repair. Often performed in anger or spite it's a form of vandalism.  

So you can only imagine my annoyance as I throw the shopping to the ground, flour, eggs, oil everything 'come scatter-scatter!' I bend down to assess the damage on the body work (a bit like a Naija 'Panel beater') and started cussing, under my breath of course as on this side of the pond any 'drama' or public display of anger' is frown upon and would only be met with disdain by on-lookers. They would glance nervously at you then quickly look away to avoid any eye contact, then cross to the other side of the road to put as much distance between themselves and you, fearing for their safety and possibly worried for your well being. They just don't like to get involved!

If you make too much noise and they feel you are particularly disturbed, one concerned random person could possibly get on the phone to emergency services and before you can say "Jack Robinson" (Please somebody help me, who was this 'Jack' of a somebody??) police and some men in 'white coats' have carted you off for psychiatric evaluation (Sincere apologies to my brother 'Ak' on that one, due to nature of his work he does not take kindly to any trivialisation of Mental Health issues be they direct or veiled and this is not my intention!)

GUEST BLOG APPEARANCE BY IYA IBEJI

                                   

Hello everyone.... It really is my pleasure to be a guest writer on 'our' Risi By Name (RBN) Blog here today. As I bow and curtsey at the same time, I just feel like I've won the lottery ....without the money. Immediately RBN chose me, I took to the keyboard. Yep....Without a clue of what to write about. I was totally, totally clueless till suddenly I had a brainwave! Anyway, before I chatter on and on and on as I usually do, I thought I had better tell you a little about myself .... 

I'm Iya Ibeji (simply means I am the proud mother of a set of twin boys) whom I embarrass at every opportunity. The worst and best thing about me is that I have no sense of shame. Ask Ola! If anything goes wrong I just shake myself and go. Nothing is worth the stress. I can't be asked to think and re-think the situation. My lack of shame leads to my chosen topic for this blog.

BACK TO MY ROOTS!

                                  

If only I could be given a fifty pound note for each time I've been asked "Ola how come you're the only one among your siblings that does not have a Muslim name?"

Brace yourself guys, it's complicated!

As a child from that era, all emphasis on the phrase 'that era', before some of you start to bring out your abacus, cowrie shells or calculator to do the math and calculate my age, I assure you it was A.D though!

I was my parents first born child and they christened me with the beautiful Muslim name "Risikatu".

It was very common back then for Our Naija parents that came over here to engage the services of 'nannies' to help with child care to enable them focus on their studies.

These nannies were mainly British and the child care arrangements were live-in. So basically the way it worked was I went to live with this nanny (may her soul rest in peace) and her young daughter at her home in Kent. While my parents studied in London. I'm not really sure of the logistics as I was so young ( I was a cutie, short, round, rocking a mini Afro as my nanny could never manage my kinky hair!)

A PICTURE SPEAKS A THOUSAND WORDS......

                      

I woke up one day this week and after 'all protocols have been observed', I started one of my fav pastimes i.e. nosing through contacts on my Blackberry and Whatsapp contacts list!

Looking at my own profile and frowning at necklace I'd worn in my DP (display picture), it looked a bit crooked and I'm thinking to myself, I could have used a better pic (yes I know, vanity upon vanity, all is vanity!!)

I continue to scroll taking it all in, one pic of someone looking really 'fit' all that gym activity is paying off!, another and I'm thinking 'Haba, this girl don yellow finish, which cream she dey rub?' Next is the scene of a leafy destination birthday party everyone wearing fedora hats, pouting, with their tummy's pulled in and another of an old acquaintance that has lost a lot of weight, I look at the pic and wonder what diet is she on now? Cabbage soup, Atkins or the 5:2 fasting diet? We have a few happy couples looking into each others eyes dreamily, ever so obvious they are in love and then I scroll further down the list. I have a few mysterious contacts with no pics at all or if there is a pic it's just a random image like of a flower, dog or cat and I'm thinking, but why? What's the point in that? Give us a glimpse into your life now!!

(I now brace myself for the awkward moment when I wake tomorrow morn and notice I have no Blackberry or Whatsapp contacts, as you guys have either blocked or deleted me!!!)

Anyway, I continue to scroll through for something that catches my fancy, 'ah-ah what's this?' I sit up in my bed, adjust myself, squint at screen and zoom in, it's the image at the top of this post. I start to ponder.....

And what does Good Friday mean to you?

Successful writing is not made of what is in it, but what's left out of it ~ Mark Twain