Hi guys, this week Naija’s social media was set ablaze with Chinese whispers about The Emir of Kano.
For those of you that don’t know Emir Of Kano is one of the highest traditional titles in the Northern Part of Nigeria. It is very common for traditional leaders to engage in polygamy by marrying more than one wife. Well the current Emir who already has 3 wives allegedly got married last week Friday to an 18 year old woman (or girl? It is debatable).
As it’s a common practice among these traditional rulers to marry more than one wife usually one would read about such and not even break wind, boring topic what’s the big deal? However on this occasion the marriage whipped up the interest of ‘Joe Public’ because the current incumbent of this title is a 54 year old ‘well read’ and ‘educated’ former Governor Of Nigeria’s Central bank. The Time magazine once named him in its Times 100 list of most influential people of 2011!
I’m not going to bother to mention his name, kindly ‘Ask Google’. I had a nose around on Wikipedia and sat there looking at the smart ‘foto’ of him in his dinner jack and red bow tie, possibly from his Central Bank days and another one of him kitted out in his Emir regalia, turban and all. Each picture seemed so far removed from the other. I was amused to find that under the heading ‘Spouse’ they had listed the names of his 3 wives, I guess the 4th name is yet to be added!
There have been cries of
“He should know better he is 3 times older than her in age”,
“He has daughters older than this ‘girl’, blah blah blah,
"He has no morals"
‘Oh but she is 18 and above the age of consent’ ‘Oh she has only just turned 18, he must have been ‘dating’ her way before she reached the age of consent and so it went on and on.
The ‘race’ or shall I say the tribal/religious card was also been flipped out with comments like ‘Oh these northerners/Muslims have come again with their child brides.' Everyone has a view.
There were even speculations that it was not true and there was no marriage.
Then photographs started circulating of this young pretty fresh looking bride. Come and see ‘fine girl’. This set tongues wagging further.
Anyway, the Emir decided that he owed a few people an explanation for his actions, so sent a private email to a selected few (which leaked obviously). The email was lengthy but a summary is he started off by saying that he doesn’t really owe anybody an explanation for his actions, he then goes on further to say there were a few points worthy of note though namely, The lady in question is 18 and of legal age, she was coming to UK in January for her undergraduate education, all his other wives are graduates, that he has close relationship with the lady’s father, it was the tradition in Kano for Emirs to marry Princess’s, that his own mother had also married from the same region and that the lady gave her consent and after the contract the wedding will not take place till a few years like when she is about 21. He then starts to talk about our failure to respect cultural differences. His explanation 'was plenty'
We’ve debated this one all week, people curious about whether the lady gave consent or was it her parents who sealed the deal, guess we will never know!
There have been arguments that it is better to be committed to a marriage at young age rather than become sugar daddy’s girl.
Even the girls asked me, "mum when a 18 year old girl wakes in the morning and sees the other 3 wives, some of them old enough to be her mother, what will she do, kneel down and greet them or what? Told them I don't know, neither do I want to know!
They also pondered on how the life of a married 18 year would be over here as an undergraduate. We agreed it would be a far cry from that that of her peers, pocket money in abundance, no clubbing, no regular halls of residence for her, more like posh apartment in some high brow area in London, definitely a chaperone to keep an eye on her and summers hols would also be a different ball game to mention a few things.
What are your thoughts on this type of union, does the age gap matter or are people just being judgemental and this simply a case of cultural differences?
Do what you did at the beginning of the relationship and there won't be an end ~ Antony Robbins
5 comments:
Glad you are back.
I have read a few articles in relation to this sage and I must confess that i found the matter sickening especially because of the persons involved. I am a Muslim and if my memory serves me right, the Holy Quran states clearly that, one can marry more than one wife PROVIDING you love them equally. If you love your first wife that much why would you want to marry a second, a third a forth, etc. The Quran is interpreted to suite our convenience. Your children are the only ones you can love EQUALLY but DIFFERENTLY and that is because they are an attached part of you, wife/wives are a detached part of you. Your children will remain forever but wives come and go.
Nigerian men and especially the Muslims, I am a Muslim by the way, are greedy and play the Muslim/Quran card by saying that a Muslim is allow to marry more than one wife, "BS". They are just out right, insensitive, selfish, self-centred, greedy, the list is endless.
I wonder what it feels like waking up next to ones father in bed in the mornings or going to bed with ones father in the night. How does this 18 year old address the husband, considering that in our culture, the wife to be would not be able to refer to Emir by his name, does she knell to greet Emir and become mates when they are in bed, hypocrisy, what sort of relationship would they have, I doubt if they would have anything in common apart from going to bed once or twice in the week and making babies considering that other wives, have to be slotted somewhere to have their time with the Emir.
I really don't know, I feel this is child abuse which is accepted in our culture, I feel this is wrong on all level. What is this Emir going to offer this 18 year old that another person of the girls' age is unable to offer, apart from money?
I feel so sorry for this ambitious and promising child, who has so much ahead of her and now stuck with this old man for the rest of her life. Is this what this poor child really wants? Was she forced into this ridiculous relationship by her parents? I guess she was.
I am sure that there are other Princesses in the Northern part of Nigeria, that are age appropriate, that the Emir can marry. All in all,I don't feel this child is mature enough to make such a decision that will affect her for the rest of her life.
The Emir in question has written a long article to defend his actions. If he feels it is none of our business, that the child is an adult, that the poor child consented to the whole nonsense, that the poor child will be continuing her education and more nonsense. Why does the Emir feel the need to put out this long nonsense article to justify his NONSENSE action. By the way, I do not feel that the article was leaked, it was put out there for us all to be aware of the Emir's views.
Will this so called well read and well educated Emir give out his 18 year old daughter in marriage to a 54 year old? It will be interesting to know.
I am not perfect but I believe in morals. A 54 year old marrying a 18 year old, to me, is wrong on all levels, I care not about this mans culture or tradition. It is just not right. There are a million and one other princesses in the Northern part of Nigeria, who are age appropriate that this Emir can marry.
It would be interesting to know this child's views on this matter.
It is a sad situation.
I must have been living under a rock for the last few weeks because this whole saga is news to me.
Personally, I think the debate is borne out of double standards and hypocrisy.
54yrs old men(sometimes ugly and pot-bellied) exploit teenagers everyday all over the world .....they call them "aristos" or "sugar daddies".
Remember the bunga,bunga! shenanigans of Berlusconi,
So the Emir chooses to marry his teanager and he is vilified. Maybe the debate should be about the decadence in human behaviour in general.
No matter what way he tries to spin it I'm just going to go with my gut instinct, and I can't fathom that this girl dreamt of one day becoming the 4th wife of one of her fathers friends.
What makes the situation even creepier is that he likely knew her as a child given his relationship with her dad.
Technically, she's not a child though but something doesn't sit well with me about this situation.
Hmmmmmmmm...............
I must admit that I was a bit surprised when I read about this particular issue in the Naija papers. I may be wrong, but I thought this same Emir married a fourth wife last year who was a daughter or sister to El-Rufai.
I do commend all the contributors on this blogg.
Unfortunately, it is a common occurence amongst the so called Naija Muslim Elites to hide under the religion to suit their purposes when it comes to these kind of issues. I must point out here that even the present president of Naija, Buhari himself married his present wife at the same age of eighteen years old. She is the grandaughter of the old first republic minister, Ribadu, which makes her a niece or first cousin to the EFCC Nuhu Ribadu. Same old story they would all tell you that they send them to school while these young women are raring children for them. I have a friend whose dad was the MD of one of the most prominent and foremost companies in the northern region of Naija in those days (names witheld). Her mum had four children before the age of twenty years old.
One thing these northern elites are failing to realise is that the poor men as well are following in their foot steps as well, but unfortunately, they wouldn't have the financial capacities to educate these women.
Like I said in previous bloggs, my grandad was an Imam, but he was only married to my grandma and never practised the religion the way it being potrayed now.
Hmmmmmm.........What can we say?
Hmmmmmm.........What can we do?
Apparently some 54 yr olds have it going on.
Mrs Windham "legally Blonde"(the movie)
Seriously though it is all messed up.
that's what happens when
1. Blackberry, Apple, and Orange are no longer fruits
2. A mouse is no longer a vermin
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