Sunday, 17 May 2020

I KNOW WHO I AM....

New Year's Day 2017

It's been a long time coming, they do say ‘Better late than never’ though.
I've always known I would blog about this at the right time, it was just a question of where to start. A quick read of my ‘About me’ on this blog opens with an introduction of myself as ‘Ola also known as Risi when I'm keeping in touch with my roots’. The roots I refer to here are my parents Muslim faith.

In one of my earliest blog posts 'Back To My Roots' I covered how my name morphed from ‘Risikat’ to ‘Ola’ and I spoke of how all my siblings are known by their Islamic names with the exception of me. My parents were (I can't believe I'm now referring to both of them in past tense) what I'd call moderate muslims.
My childhood memories of muslim holidays relate to the loooooong wait between my parents return from the prayer ground and when the ram was skinned, fried and stewed sitting in my plate besides a heap of jollof rice with the accompanying Fanta and nothing much more.

Likewise the month of Ramadan to me was just a month when my folk would wake to eat breakfast in the middle of the night and then again in the evening. My brothers and sister were just not involved. We were never required to fast though we'd eat our dinner with our parents when they broke their fast.  And that's very much how ‘The Sule Household’ rolled.

Dad’s mum was a Christian while his dad was a staunch Muslim, how that worked I really don't know. Christmas service in our home town was a long drawn out service, it felt like 5 hours, and was conducted in Yoruba and we  would hear the old women singing the hymns in Ijebu. Now you’d need to understand the Ijebu dialect to appreciate the irony of the Yoruba hymn  ‘Ose o Jesu a o ma yin o’ sang as ‘Ose o Jesu a o ma yin “wen’’ by these women😩

My mum came from The Kuku family of Ijebu-ode, predominantly Muslim.
So basically we had very fluid lifestyles where religion was concerned.

One day my parents decide that we need to have some purpose in our lives πŸ™„ and engage the services of a neighbour friend of theirs, Mrs Badero she was a Christian and an evangelist. That's how she became wait for it……..our Bible Lesson Teacher! Yep you read right ‘Muslim couple engage services of Bible lesson teacher to teach their children’. That's how once a week she’d come over to our house for an hour and share the word with us, afterwards she’d just be jisting with my parents. I think this is called religious tolerance if I'm correct.

I do recollect that there had once been an attempt by dad to engaged the services of an Islamic scholar to teach my brothers unfortunately it was way too late 😩, my brothers ran circles around this poor man with their questions, frustrated him and wound him up till one day he got annoyed and said he can't teach them anymore and that was the endπŸ™πŸΎ My siblings were SU’s for as I long as I could remember and my parents attitude was very much ‘Do you…but just make sure you do something’ what they would not have was one living like a plant, growing daily with no purpose. You either go to church or mosque one of the two.

I have a cousin with a Muslim name he's a Christian, he meets a lady he really liked and brings her home to meet the family. I noticed that the lady kept calling him a name unknown to me, when I later asked him what was going on he explained that she doesn't like his Muslim name and finds it somewhat embarrassing so prefers to use his middle name…. I gulp ‘As in’ I'm thinking πŸ€” ‘Houston we gotta problem here’. If the ‘young’ lady ‘kent’ deal with his given name, what chance do they stand? I asked him if she knew he was a Christian he replied yes but she still just couldn't get her head around his Muslim name. Now I'm thinking of the Yoruba Proverb which translates to something like this ‘What you will not eat, you have no business smelling in the first place’. What was she doing hanging around him if the Muslim name was such a big deal for her, she should ‘shift’ and find herself what she deems a bonafide ‘broda’ with a more appropriate name 😑. Really wished I could ask her to kneel in a corner, close eyes and raise both hands (if you know you know). Anyway that ended like the proverbial ‘Led balloon’🎈

Sorry to digress but don't you just hate what I've just done there? When the author of a tale becomes judge, jury and heroine with narrative panning out to show that their unheeded advise was the best option and the truth πŸ™„ πŸ˜‚  very self serving and predictable indeed. Why can’t the end of the tale ever be ‘well the young lady refused to call him by his Muslim name, but they still got married and lived happily ever afterπŸ€”

Anyways, I fast forward by about 2 decades, Happy family living in ‘the abroad’ and at the time firm members of what some Christians like to refer to as an ‘Orthodox Church’. Attendance every Sunday gave the children some structure, The congregation were predominately Caucasian and we were in the minority but all was good. I was a member of church council and welcome committee. I could set my clock by the timing of the church service 10:30 to 11:30, I'd actually bung my Sunday chicken in the oven before church and set timer. The girls always looked forward to Easter for the Easter egg hunt and Christmas as they'd always get picked for a role in the Nativity play. Occasionally I was rota’d to count the days offering at end of service, a role I disliked as I'm poor at arithmetic and it guaranteed an additional hour or 2 in church as we could not leave till all the figures added up.

My mum would often phone me on a Sunday afternoon casually asking me how church was, to keep her happy, ( I know…I know)  if I had not attended I'd lie and say church was goodπŸ‘€
She would then casually ask me to pass the phone to her grandchildren to greet them but would always ask them how they had found Sunday school at church that day… and the truth would out πŸ’₯⚡️πŸ”₯
Mum would then ask them to pass the phone back to me πŸ™†πŸΎπŸ™†πŸΎπŸ™†πŸΎ

Anyways we are doing this year in and year out and eventually I started to feel something was missing in my spiritual life, but what could I do. Then one Easter I invited a couple to attend Easter service at our church, service felt rather slow that Sunday and I noticed my guests were struggling to stay awake, they were obviously bored stiff and not being carried along.
I then made a decision……πŸ€”

To be continued…..this just has to be a 2-part blog!

How's your week been? Any stories about your faith?


Being a good writer is 3% talent and 97% not being distracted by the internet πŸ€“~ Anonymous

πŸ’…πŸΎ

21 comments:

DokWan said...

Wow, what a story.
I love your parent's fluidity.
Mine were to a much lesser degree fluid, but remained within one religion.
They were staunch non-practising nominal anglicans, creeping out of their room at midday on Sundays after their well deserved 'lie-in'......����.
At 7yrs of age, I decided I wanted to be Catholic, mainly because Opus Dei lived next door (and as a staunch tomboy, I had climbed over those walls with glass shards cemented over the top in SuruLere, to retrieve our football. I had been spotted by one old Australian lady Opus Deian, and told off for kicking a football about with my brother and his friends. Instead, I was taken to their kitchen and baked a cake with them that afternoon. It was toooooo sweet and when she told me there was the feast of something or other coming up, my imagination kicked in. I was hooked. Turns out, it was the feast of Ascension or something, not quite what I had thought).
I started going there regularly, albeit, via front gate, and went to Catechism classes.
In short order, I was Catholic and going to mass almost daily, with heathen parents sleeping away their life.
So in my household, roles were reversed.
Na me dey wake up early to go church..... while mum, dad and siblings rested on the 7th day.
It's a real Na Wa for this life..... if you know, you know.


Anonymous said...

Fascinating. Waiting for part 2.
Your parents' tolerance is something I wish the world had today: Would have been a much better place than it is now.

Modupe said...

Vintage and mischievous Ola. Wow, your parents were ahead of time, a real big time miss.

A captivating read as usual.

That Ijebu Girl said...

“Ose o Jesu a o ma yin “wen’’ - OMG, I’m DEAD!! πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Unknown said...

Nice read as usual Sis Ola. The way I look forward to thess posts reminds me of how I looked forward to the next edition of Hints and Hearts magazine when I was a teenager.

Biola Okafor said...

πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒπŸ˜ƒ What a spectacle! Poor folks, politely stifling a yawn and also struggling hard not to bang their heads on each other in order not to embarrass u.
Doubt if they will honour an invitation to the church again.

Stella I said...

Ooooh! and you had to stop. I was really enjoying the read. Anyway, waiting patiently for part 2. Have a great week ahead.

Anonymous said...

Happy Sunday!

This write-up reminds me so much of my parents and their approach to religion..... it was laid back!
I guess that tolerance had to do with education.

Re: the article, why do you like cliff hangers Ola? You must finish this story o!

Unknown said...

Your blog is the best,it gives a vivid picture of the topic of the day.

I grew up in the Seventh-day Adventist church, very strict and as a teenager we were on lockdown from 6 pm Friday to 6pm Saturday.
I rebelled against this sunset to sunset regime because Friday night was the night all my mates meet up to chill and I was in Bible study.

Today I am reminiscent of the good old days and it wasn't as bad as I thought back then.

Anonymous said...




Thanks for another brilliant piece.

If all parents were that fluid and tolerant about religion, the World will be a better place.

I come from a strong and practicing Islamic family. My primary education/foundation was at a Catholic school. Where we observed everything from Mass, Angelus at noon , holy communion etc. Growing up, My very good friend who lived next door was also a Christian. I went to church with her on Sundays and evenings, choir practice and other church activities.

I was born a Muslim, raised a Muslim and I am very proud to be a Muslim. I have spent more time in my life in church/around Christians than i have in mosque/with Muslims. I love Christianity but I will forever be a Muslim, because that is me.

I feel very comfortable around my Christian friends. Religion has never been an obstacle or a serious topic for discussion.
Live and let live. As long as we are happy with decisions make in life.

I love hymns and gospel music. Christmas is my favourite time of the year. I am forever searching/looking for carol services/activities to attend. I love the madness, activities, decorations, mood, etc. I do not decorate but I love the decor. I don’t do anything special either. I just love the spirit. I attend all known activities at this time.

Religion is a very sensitive topic especially when people feel that one religion is superior to the other. I am a believer in the Higher being, however you reach/communicate with him is up to an individual. I pray to God in my room and I am so blessed. We are all blessed.

Keep well and stay safe.

Tatenda said...

Fascinating! Really enjoyed that. Looking forward to part 2 xx

Esther Akingbade-olatunji said...

Thoroughly and eloquently written as usual Ola. I enjoyed this piece. I await patiently for part 2. πŸ€—πŸ˜€

DEE said...

Hey Ola! Thanks for recognising my mum!. It all seems just some few years ago. We have come a long way. Lovely memory by the way to recall such details...

MCMπŸ™†πŸΎ‍♂️ said...

Ola nice one. I must say dad and mum never came across to me as Alhaji or Alhaja, not that there is a stereotype! Muslims moderate is apt.

Anonymous said...

Had an Aunt who had gone to Mecca, staunch Muslim and all the works. She woke up one day and found Jesus. Then started Jesus is Lord and all the works. However the name Alhadja which she was known by had come to stay no matter how much she tried.

Took a lady (soldier for Christ type) out for lunch, and she wanted fish so she was asked if she wanted the tail bit, her reply was I'm the head and not the tail ��. During the lockdown she had no food at home and asked what I had at home
I told her only fish stew but only the tail. She said I should bring some for her. But madam I thought you said you are the head and not the tail. Bros forget that jo just bring the stew. ��

Iya Ibeji said...

My dad was a moslem of a less than moderate faith, my mum a christian, a Methodist to be exact!
The wars that this mixed faith household brought were very undercurrent!

I used to love my grandmother calling me by my moslem name and my mum stopping herself from exploding ... only just though!
Lesser beings than my strong grandmother were put in their place by my mother immediately with a clipped 'Her name is Remi' I just loved it. Anything that would wind my mum up for a few moments!

I attended faith schools from the start and my dad was not bothered until I told them I fancied being a Reverend sisterπŸ˜‡πŸ™πŸΎπŸ˜‚

Seun IO said...

What a throw back series, I love this write up. I look forward to the concluding part, big sis.

Anonymous said...

The singing in Ijebu dialect is hilarious. I love your parents’ attitude to religion. The world will be a better place if the religionists are as tolerant as they were. FTA

S.O. said...


I can identify with the story (thus far!!) as an ijebu man from a family of people mostly from both major faiths.

Eldest uncle, God bless his soul, was born a moslem, did his bit with the ibile but became a "confirmed" Christian (Anglican) about 8 months before he died!!

You hardly find any ijebu family not having people of both the major faiths. And that never weakened family ties.

Most of us, in my generation, grew up hardly with any bias or inhibition to people of the other faith. As a matter of fact, I recall vividly that in the 70s and early 80s, the whole of Ososa town (Muslims, Christians and atheists alike) used to assemble in the St John's Anglican Church for cross over services every new year eve. The whole town enters the new year together.

I enjoy the story and looking forward to Part 2.

You know what, we can develop this into an epic film.

Ogunde Films Village is available at very modest charges 🀭

Nikky Africana said...

When l was younger my parents were both christians and they wanted us to attend church every Sunday but that was a bit much because sometimes one didn't feel like going.

The beauty of it is that as l grew older and became more independent l preferred to attend the Pentecostal church but l will not force or determine what church my children go to because they might prefer to attend the Catholic Church as they attended Catholic schools.

I look forward to part 2 of your blog.

Anonymous said...

Wao, beautiful piece so very delectable. I agree with some of the comments here that your upbringing was fluid. Mine was the direct opposite,,, mmnnnnnhhh....lol. story for another day. Good piece ����